Women, wine and football: The triple-threat!

Certain things in life make me feel good to be alive. No, I’m not going on some dirty-girl rant about what makes me supa’ horny; that’s for another time. I’m talking about wine, women and football! It sounds random, but keep an open mind and read on.

What’s not to love about wine? Bacchus – that fat, clever bastard of a wine god did us a solid when he came up with this beverage. It tastes amazing, it’s good for us, it gets us drunk (and more importantly gets our dates drunk), makes food taste awesome, gets better when it’s old and wrinkly, doesn’t make us piss every five seconds like beer does, and makes us feel pretty and romantic. Nothing against beer, which goes great with hotdogs, football and re-runs of Cheers. But the list of what’s great about wine goes on and on.

Women! We’re beautiful and sexy, smell good, are smart, tough and can handle more physical pain than men (maybe not a good thing because we often endure too much of it), are master multi-taskers and are cleaner than most men (straight men that is). We can have babies, if we choose. (My sisters are the breeders in my family, so I get to be cool Auntie Ash, get ‘em drunk for the first time, teach them about wine and food, how to dance like a sexy mutha and how to stay out of jail.) We look amazing naked with all of our humps, our humps, our lovely lady lumps. I mean let’s face it: Boobs are awesome! It doesn’t make a damn bit of difference if you’re a gay boy or a straight boy, you all love boobies, the best accessory ever. I wake up so pleased with myself each day because I am a girl, daughter, sister, auntie and friend. The bottom line, ladies, is that we kick ass and deserve to be treated like it.

And then we come to football – it’s a new one for me. But my momma is a sports fan and has always subscribed to the paper for that section, the trick being we didn’t have TV growing up – reading scores, stats and highlights at bedtime may not be the best way to get a kid to sleep. My mother did, however, regale us with tales about an amazing and godlike man named Mike Ditka, and from that time on, I dreamed of one day getting Ditka fired so that I could be da coach of ‘da Bears. Football is actually a fun sport to watch: You start with a bunch of big, burley guys, all of whom have titles like fullback, wide-receiver and tight end! Then they get sweaty and jump on each other to the roar of the crowd, to touch downs, overtimes, and the real excitement of kicking the other team’s asses. Topping it off are hotdogs and beer, which on their own would get me to go just about anywhere.

Why I love this trifecta to this extent is that I recently attended an event Oct. 9 in south Denver at the Palzzo Verdi. It was called just that: Wine, Women, and Football, put on by the nonprofit organization Volunteers of America. All proceeds from this event went to the VOF’s Brandon House, a shelter for battered and homeless women and their children. In addition to a fun and festive evening of wine, food, music and more, five awesome Denver Bronco players generously and graciously showed their support there. I didn’t get to talk to Rod Smith, which nearly made me cry, but I’ll continue to support Volunteers of America, and encourage you to do the same, for all they do.

Ashley Trego is a Western Slope-based chef and food and wine writer. She works with the Black Bridge Winery, 5680 Vineyards, Alfred Eames Cellars, Lilliputian Winery and Garfield Estates Winery.