Anything boys can do girls can do better

En route to San Diego I needed something to read on the plane – because for some messed up reason I have never been able to sleep while flying the friendly skies and there are simply not enough tiny bottles of booze to knock me out. So I grabbed a book. It was called Living Loaded, a penning by Playboy columnist Dan Dunn. Not being a complete stranger to Playboy magazine, I knew enough about Mr. Dunn to understand he is one funny f*cker – completely inappropriate, and famous for getting himself into precarious situations on the job. Which is, in fact, his job – writing about drinking and all the disasters that come of it. So I figured it was a safe bet that the book would be an easy read and get me to where I was going.

One bit in the book was about girls who can drink. Anyone with a mouth can do it, but being able to hold your liquor is another thing altogether. And just because women are reputed for not being able to do so doesn’t mean it’s true.

There are, in fact, many women in history who were shining examples of what I speak: Chicks who enjoyed the drink and for the most part could handle it. And no, I am not speaking of Lindsay Lohan or any of her kind. The dames of which I speak are more along the lines of Gertrude Stein, who drank and kept up with Ernest Hemingway, one of the most notorious “get drunk and write the great American novel” guys of all time. J-Lo’s character from the movie (and book) Out of Sight is a devout bourbon drinker – a woman after my own heart – and let’s not forget the skinny little bitches from Sex and the City who practically lived off of cosmos. I sit and ponder these women: I too likes to drink and me thinks that I could most likely drink most of my macho guy friends well under the table. This is not to say that this is a goal of mine, but just for the sake of saying it, I’m saying it.

Here are some of my thoughts, and tips, on how we gals can, with elegance and ease, handle our booze and look good doing it:

 Eat food!  I know, though I don’t entirely agree, that we supposedly want to be thin. Sistas – trust me – before you go drinking an excessive amount of alcohol, eat food. Just kill yourself at the gym the next day if you insist on making up for it.

 Know how each flavor of booze effects you.  Different liquors have different effects on each of us. For example, vodka makes me hungry, bourbon makes me wanna make out, gin makes me super social, tequila makes me slutty, wine makes me lethargic and beer just makes me have to pee a lot. Know what each does to you and choose accordingly.

 Hydrate – a lot.  Drink at least one glass of water between each cocktail, and not only will you be able to hold on longer, your entire head and body will feel a lot f*cking better the next day.

 Look good drinking.  We are all beautiful in different ways; know your way and work it. This will not only give you an advantage when drinking with boys, but it also get you some free drinks. Cleavage, as I have mentioned before, is awesome.

 Try new drinks.  You never know what you might like. I have been a wine gal for a very long time. I know it, I love it and I know how it effects me. I have as of late been forcing myself outside of my comfort zone and trying new kinds of booze. I have discovered my love for bourbon. Makers Mark is delicious and local Stranahans Whiskey rocks my world. Dirty martinis are amazing and Camapari is a delightful aperitif. The point? Don’t be afraid to try new things. Hold your own. Own your drinking prowess and above all, do it like a lady.