State of the Nation and sleep deprivation

I have a confession. I’m an addict. I’m addicted to reading loaded political news right before bed spurring a diabolical cycle of insomnia, anxiety, and repeatedly questioning “How can this be?”

The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR: I’ve got to have them all, and I can’t get enough. My girlfriend has repeatedly tried to intervene and pry the iPhone out of my hands at 11 p.m., saying, “You better not be reading what I think you’re reading,” but when she turns back to her book, I switch back to the Times and continue torturing myself.

I’m hooked on articles like, “On the Right, Santorum Has Women’s Vote,” “New Santorum Ad Links Obama and Ahmadinejad” and “Santorum Would Reinstate DADT: Gays Should ‘Keep Their Private Matters To Themselves.’”

Do you detect a common thread?

It’s not only Ricky “crazy eyes” Santorum and his “spiritual war” that keeps me up at night reeling. It’s what he and several of the GOP candidates – those who’ve come, gone and stayed – and who they represent. Or more importantly, who they do not represent: Me and the people I love.

I know it’s a touchy subject. Like I’ve previously written, discussing religion and politics is high-anxiety and generally off limits, but I tackled religion, so I figure I might as well go all in. Especially since they seem inextricably linked these days.

As a woman, a gay and an Arab-American, I suddenly feel pummeled from every angle by ideology that leaves me behind and dangling over a chasm of potential political policies that matter-of-factly dismiss my choices, my identity and my future.

I understand that the voice of the “very conservative” is getting louder mostly as a response to the painstaking success of those demanding civil rights and equality for all, but there’s no question that just as fast as Americans are overlapping, Americans are becoming polarized, and the pull is intense lately.

“Very conservative,” apparently, is a thing. The term is being used by nearly every news source. It’s not just “conservative” anymore, it’s “very conservative” (quotes included), and it doesn’t just refer to views on big government versus small government. It’s a code word for social conservatism – anti-choice, anti-gay rights, anti-culturally tolerant views, and/or disbelief in global warming and evolution. The politicians repping this crowd are no longer fringe; they are winning things. Their supporters feel that they are losing their country as much as I feel their views strip me of mine.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned firsthand, it’s that fighting religious and political extremism with religious and political extremism will devastate all involved. Look around the world for abundant examples. There is no best-case scenario.

It’s my nature to perpetually try to be empathetic, at least attempt to put myself in others’ shoes, even when that other is a poster child for the opposite of what I am. Like a math problem, I can only approach things if I break them down, even if it ends up being a trick question.

What have I come up with? That it’s easy for someone like Rick Santorum to compare gay marriage to paper towels; to state that the ultimate homeland security is standing up and defending heterosexual marriage; to advocate for trans vaginal ultrasounds; to tell a crowd of Puerto Ricans that if they want statehood, they should, “like any other state,” make English Puerto Rico’s principal language even though the Constitution doesn’t designate an official language nor does it require a territory adopt English as its primary language to gain statehood.

Wait, what was I talking about?

This same train of thought almost caused me to run into a guardrail exiting 6th Avenue recently.

The man is factual black hole promoting social beliefs that would time warp this country backward. Why? Because there’s nothing easier than looking at your own life and thinking, “This is right and good. This is the way everyone should live. This is the status quo.” It’s egomaniacal, it’s narrow-minded, and unfortunately, it has broad appeal.

Having lived in a bleeding-red state for many years, I think it boils down to something relatively simple: being surrounded by people who not only fervently agree with you, but praise and exalt you. People, after all, only know what they’ve been told, taught, seen and sought. For those who’ve never stepped out of their comfort zone, the world is easily black and white, wrong and right. It’s a brainwash breeding ground.

What scares me the most is that these “leaders” beliefs trickle down; they serve as examples and justification for hate, for deeper divisions, for bullying. We have constant information at our fingertips these days, and while it erases some divisions, it highlights others.

It now seems that Mitt is going to be on menu, and we’re essentially done – fingers crossed – hearing about Ricky, but these concerns most certainly remain: The tenacious problem of ignorance, fear and resistance. What I know for sure is come November, I’m really going to need a nap.