Cycle Sluts: Find a bigger toy!

Dear Cycle Sluts,
I’m very loud when I have sex with my girlfriend and I like to tell her how much I love her. The problem is she never makes a sound or says a word. After we’re done, she just rolls over and goes to sleep. It’s like she’s a guy and if I wanted one of those I’d be straight! I enjoy the sex we have, but she never tells me what she thinks about it. How can I find out?
Signed, “Girls just wanna have fun…”

Zoey: She could be bored. Maybe your strap-on is too small? Get to the Crypt where Diane can help you find a bigger toy.

Freeda: Maybe you’re not doing it right. Oh, I just threw up a bit!

Winnie: She is such the gay man trapped in the body of a woman. Good luck!

Diane: Honey, I’m not that familiar with Beavertown. Why don’t you get her a six-pack of beerand some duct tape?

Rolonda: Ask your best friend for some pointers she’s probably the one that’s satisfying your girlfriend since you can’t! She’ll know exactly what she likes.

Molotovia: Sounds like a bad case of Lesbian Bed Death.  Get a Strap-on STAT.

Bea: Well, I know I never make any noise when the sex is bad either.

Eden: Be lucky, I have to use a ball gag for all the men I’ve been with. Just be quiet and learn to take orders already!

Sassy: In a situation like this there’s only one suggestion… U-Haul! It’s cheaper than couples therapy and I’m sure it’s in your speed dial.