The new fight against bullying

For many bullied teens that – thankfully – do not see suicide as an option, another self-destructive path many are opting for is to simply leave school. When young people are talked down to, told they will be listened to (and stopped being picked on) when they enter “the real world,” it should be no surprise when they decide to make the leap into adulthood a few years early.

“When we started, in 2005, there were 18,000 young people dropping out of high school in Colorado,” said Julia Hughes of Colorado Youth for a Change, a nonprofit group aiming to increase graduation rates for teens in the state. She said that since that time the group has decreased that dropout number by 30 percent, but there are still a number of factors that contribute to youths dropping out – often many of them beginning in the home.

“Often what happens is a young person will come out as gay, and the family is not OK with that. So they get kicked out and end up homeless,” said Angel Salathe, LGBTQ services coordinator for CYC. “And then the last thing on their mind is an education.”

“The Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network has put data out that shows LGBTQ teens are three to four times more likely to drop out than a straight teen,” Salathe continued. GLSEN has also conducted studies which show that while bullying has caused an increase in LGBTQ students missing more days of school – which, in turn, increases their likelihood for dropping out – their psychological well being is increased with the number of days they miss.

“More recent research shows that bullying prevention has not been effective worldwide, and even less so in the U.S.,” said Beverly Title, a former Longmont educator, and a pioneer in the anti-bullying movement through her nonprofits early years of Teaching Peace – which began in the mid ’90s – and the No Bullying program. “One of the problems is, when you call attention to it, you end up getting more of it.”

“We’ve been unclear about what we’re doing to prevent bullying,” she continued. While Title has been a strong advocate of the restorative justice method – where the victim and the perpetrator of a crime are reunited in a controlled, supervised process – she said it should be used with caution, if at all, when dealing with teen bullying.

“Restorative Justice requires that you make yourself vulnerable,” Title said. “And bullies play on the same kind of power imbalance as domestic violence; they’re able to manipulate victims in ways that people might not even know is happening.”

According to Title, a large failure in anti-bullying programs comes from a misguided view of bullies themselves. “The standard, iconic image of the bully is a guy with low self esteem, who is Mr. tough guy beating kids up on the playground,” she said, “but it’s more likely that the bully sees himself as superior – more narcissistic than insecure.”

In her book, Bullying and Teasing: Social Power in Children’s Groups, Gayle Macklem cites several studies that show that “pure bullies” – termed as opposed to bully/victims, a separate and less prevalent category – are often very self assured in their activities. They feel what they are doing is correct, and they often rise in social status as a result of it.