Ten reasons to love being a lesbian

I’m sure that this comes as no surprise to some of you: I love being a lesbian. However, I have a friend that I’m sure is one and she just hasn’t let herself be one yet. To help her understand the perks, a top-10 list is in order.

1. Women understand you better. This is pretty self-explanatory; no matter how wonderful a man is he still doesn’t get what it means to be a woman. Even the butchest woman out there is still a woman, meaning she is still a giant emotional being.  She will still make completely irrational decisions about things and look at you like you’ve lost your mind for questioning her.

2. Hair issues. I have been pretend-a-straight and men don’t want to know the hows and whys of your hair looking good, they just expect it to happen. Every woman I’ve been in a relationship with has helped me with my hair, be it perms, flat irons, color; you name it and they’ve done it.

3.    A period is more than punctuation. We are all aware of how being a woman is likely to, at some point, involve this. So you can send your girlfriend to the store to get “feminine products” and chocolate without having to teach her the difference between regular, super and super plus, or between Hershey’s Kisses and Ferrero Rocher.

4.    You can borrow her clothes. Even if you are not the same size and generally don’t dress in the same style, you can find something that works. I have a former girlfriend who is 5’2” and a completely different style, but I borrowed sweaters, belts and jewelry from her all of the time.

5.    Going to bed is like a slumber party. Women love to lie in bed and talk. No matter how randy your girl may be, you won’t be interrupted by body parts protruding or intruding when you just want to talk. And you don’t have to worry that your bra will end up in the freezer because you fell asleep first.

6.    Hugs. I’m a hugger and I have found that women generally like that more – admittedly a completely unscientific observation. When your gathering is filled with women, there’s a lot of hugging, even if you’re just standing in a bar. We hug hello, we hug goodbye, we just hug, period. It’s pretty awesome.

7.    Shopping. Women understand your “need to have it;” shoes, hats, wrenches, a motorcycle, a drawer filled with toys, you name it. Shopping is a universal experience. You may like to spend hours browsing shoes and your partner may spend those same hours buying new tools, but at the end of your day you’re still in unison: “this was only $10, can you believe it?”

8.    You can change your mind – not about being a lesbian, but about pretty much everything else. I have another ex who would get dressed to go out, and at the last minute decide to start all over again, leaving me sitting on the couch waiting for her. (And people thought SHE was the butch one!)  No matter how butch she is, a woman reserves the right to change her outfit, her direction, her mind.

9.    Women admire openly. It has been said that women generally dress for other women. I also know women like to dress to please their partner. So when you have someone who notices, you feel amazing.

10.    Women let you cry. I cry a lot and it never upsets women. I cry when I’m happy, sad, angry, frustrated, in pain, sympathizing, you name it. If your partner is a woman, she cries too. The last boyfriend I ever had called me “soft” because I was always crying. One of my girlfriends called me “warm-hearted” for the same reason.

Now you create your own list: write me and let me know what you think is missing. I figure the longer the list, the easier it will be for my friend. Really hoping for a toaster oven.

Email Robyn at goddessofjoy1@gmail.com