Stuff Gay People Like: Being Shirtless

If a straight man suddenly strips off his shirt in public, it means he wants to fight somebody. Either that or he just found out there’s a bee in it. But the bottom line is, wearing shirts is considered the norm for straight guys.

Not so for gay men, who take great pleasure in letting everyone know they’re proud of how they look, reminding them again, and again, and again. A gay man requires little provocation to show bare skin, and any of the following factors suggest shirtlessness:

It’s a nightclub. He’s jogging. It’s a sunny summer day. Somebody shouted “strip!” (or at least he “thought” that’s what he heard). A webcam is on. He’s just been brutally defeated at beer pong. He’s taking a profile picture. He’s in California. He wants to get back at his boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend. He is in a gay-themed advertisement. His drunk friend made an unserious comment about him taking off clothes so now he has to make her regret it. He’s at Pride. Someone is taking a picture of him. Someone is taking a picture of someone else and he hopes it will be of him. He is dancing. He has his Halloween costume “on.”

You get the point.

And when it comes to willingness to take off pants in public, gay guys are light years ahead of straight ones.

Gay people love showing off their bodies in public. When their friends do it, they attribute their peers’ eagerness to go shirtless to the whole community being “too slutty,” even if they’ve done the same and even as they simultaneously argue that society is too conservative about sex.

It’s complicated. We’re complicated.

But if all the stodgy conservative people who would be troubled by sex in culture are already shunning you because you’re gay, you don’t have much reason to avoid what aggravates them, right? Why not just just do what you feel like?

Gay people spend significant amounts of time working out, and it’s true that people who work hard at anything want credit. But it’s a chicken-and-egg question; do gay people take off their shirts so often because they’re proud that they went to the gym, or do they go to the gym to keep up with their friends who are taking off their shirts all the time?

Philosophers will debate the issue for centuries.

The gay men who look average, who don’t work out and have comfortable bellies or twiggy arms can talk about all the pressure to look good. Gay articles, advertisements, and social networking sites are chock-full of waxed, chiseled, buff and idealized 20-something men; men whom five percent of the population actually looks like.

Those who feel left out will say the gay media promotes a widespread body image crisis.

But the guys who do work out will get their way, and say it’s not as much about looks as promoting “good health.” Chugging 12 pounds of processed and re-processed “fortified whey protein isolate” a week (between periodic fasts) means you’re healthy, of course!

I told you … we’re complicated.

This classic SGPL was originally published online March 2010.

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