Just SWIRL and DUMP!

Dear Cycle Sluts, 

My best friend, who is also an ex, has a new boyfriend that is a real jerk! Is there any way to talk to my friend about this without sounding like I’m catty?

Signed, “No, really, he’s a Douche”

Juana Mann: Nope, out of luck. All you can do is let the cat out of the bag and go for it. Worst case he won’t talk to you again, just about you. Then you can be like every other broken up gay couple.

Zoey Diddim: Yes if you get him sloshed first, get him in to bed and the next morning use it as pillow talk. Then you are not catty but a home wrecker.

Freeda Fondle: What are you doing still hanging around your ex? Bad gay boy… bad!

Winnie Bego: You are catty! Own up to it.

Diane Tolickya: Let the negative people in your life go; life is too fabulous and glittery to deal with the BS!

Rolonda Flor: Don’t hate because he told you I’m much better in bed than you were.

Molotovia Cocktail: The only way out of this is to bed them both and prove who is better than butter.

Bea Dazzle: Meow! Well, you know how to use a douche.  Just swirl and dump.  Gurl do what you have to do, just be careful of the splatter.

Eden Cox: You mean to tell me that you still talk to your ex? Why the hell would you talk to a guy that you used to sleep with?

Sassy Squatch: Sorry, Sweetie! This one’s a no win for you, unless you have compromising video of the “Douche Nozzle” doing something or someone bad!