‘Hypochondriac’ Tackles Mental Illness from a Queer Horror Perspective

Making its world premiere at this year’s South by Southwest (SXSW), Hypochondriac is a queer horror film that will most certainly give viewers nightmares.

Centered around a young potter named Will, his life devolves into chaos as he loses function of his body while being haunted by the physical manifestation of his childhood trauma. Although this may be a work of fiction to audiences, unfortunately, this story is very much a reality to director Addison Heimann since it is based on his own mental breakdown. 

Heimann struggled with mental health for the better part of a year, and his goal with Hypochondriac was to visually capture what he felt like during this time of darkness.

“My mom’s bipolar, and I was experiencing these symptoms of tingling and dizziness when she was being particularly emotionally abusive to me,” he explains. “Of course, I Googled, and it told me I was dying of ALS, so I clutched on to that because no one could tell me otherwise. I was convinced that was happening. Then I was working as a production assistant at the time and carrying 70-, 80-pound sky panels up and down stairs with no freight elevator, trying to prove to myself that I wasn’t dying. Basically, I injured my arms to the point where I couldn’t type, text, lift a fork, or shave.”

One day while in physical therapy, Heimann joked with his therapist saying he should write about this.

“My physical therapist was like, ‘You’re a writer, right? You should write about this.’ I was like, ‘OK.’ So, I put two pillows on a desk and ice packs on my arms, and I wrote. That was like a form of therapy in itself. The more I pushed through, I thought, ‘This is something that I need to tell, and this is especially something I need to direct because it’s my story.’ The more I would tell this story to others, the more people got on board. There was something there, and I thought it was good to explore, so that kind of pushed me to create the film.” 

Well-known for his fun and goofy shorts and web series, Heimann says he is proud to have Hypochondriac be his first feature film, and that it was wild to have it screen at SXSW. 

In addition to making audiences feel like they’re experiencing a mental breakdown, Heimann also hopes the film is giving a clear message that it is OK to ask for help.

“Hypochondriac tells the story of everything that was happening before the moment I asked for help,” he says. “While we can see and understand the tragedy, I think I was so hesitant to tell people about it because I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. I just wanted to survive in my own little hold and keep my problems to myself. The moment I reached out, help came. You need actual people to help you survive and move forward, and hopefully people see that message in the movie.”

The film’s cast includes Devon Graye (Dexter, I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore), Madeline Zima (The Nanny, Californification), Marlene Forte (Knives Out, Fear the Walking Dead), Chris Doubek (Boyhood, Bacurau), Paget Brewster (Criminal Minds, Community), and Zach Villa (American Horror Story, Destroyer), who plays Will, the character based on Heimann. 

According to Villa, he had no clue what the film was about prior to auditioning but found the material to be very relatable.

“Similar to most auditions, you just get the sides, material, and look it over,” he says. “When I read the sides for this, I was immediately like, ‘Oh, I think I know this scenario.’ This person spoke to something in my history, and I think Addison and I have parallel experiences in mental health. Of course, I didn’t go through what he went through, but this spoke to me because my half-brother has been diagnosed with a multitude of things throughout my life. He’s currently a treated schizophrenic. I think the stuff that I experienced with him growing up and how my family dealt with it, it was like the universe was sending me this project.”

Like Heimann, Villa believed that this story needed to be told. 

“When I realized this was more autobiographical, that was a gift. I believe in this film, and I believe in what it’s trying to say. It’s so raw, but also artistically accessible and gives you a fantastical medium and an adaptation to experience it, opposed to just a guy’s crazy story, which we see all the time in Hollywood. This is adapted in such a way that people can relate to it and see themselves in the story. The script was brilliant, and the truth was there, and it made my job very easy.”

Although there are several movies out there that focus on mental health themes, both Heimann and Villa think they are more prevalent in dramas and comedies. Queer mental health, on the other hand, not so much. 

“Maybe it’s because we’re told not to talk much about mental health growing up, but we’re going far in the other direction being like, no, we’re going to talk about it,” Heimann laughs. “I sometimes feel that mental health can be used almost like a horror tactic, and I want to throw an opinion on that. Like, is it real or not? For me, the type of stories I want to tell, and the ones that are probably lacking, are the ones that are in our heads, but in a way that’s scarier. When I was going through my mental breakdown, people would be like, ‘It’s all in your head.’ Cool, but that doesn’t help me because I still feel what’s happening to me. I want to dive more into that.” 

Hypochondriac is currently on the festival circuit and will be released through XYZ Films this summer. 

Stay up-to-date with Heimann by following him on Instagram @addybear5, or visit his official website, addisonheimann.com. Connect with Villa by following him on Twitter and Instagram @zachvilla.

Images courtesy of  Hypochondriac