Your opinion of me is none of my business

We all worry about what other people think of us sometimes. It inspires us to put on a snappy outfit every day, do a great job at work or be an attentive friend. But some are preoccupied with perceptions and judgments of others, and life decisions become driven significantly by being acceptable in a chosen peer group. In these situations, our own good takes a back seat.

People have perspectives and opinions about everything and everyone — some verbalized, others lying deeply in our minds without being shared with the outside world. Of course, there are times when opinions come out through judgment or trash talk, sometimes behind our backs.

Of course it hurts our feelings and pisses us off when we become aware that someone doesn’t like us, is critical of how we look, or disagrees with something we do, believe, say, or wear.

However, it is important to stop and consider: How is this knowledge making you feel? Why are you feeling what you’re feeling? Is this going to drive you to change something about yourself? Does it truly matter to you what they think? It’s important to consider how these types of opinions from others can and will impact our life.

We can spend so much time, effort, and money trying to set ourselves up to be accepted or loved by those around us. When our own priorities shift toward being more concerned about what others feel is a good decision for us, we lose focus on choices that are true to our hearts, desires and knowledge of ourselves.

There will always be social pressure, or slick advertising, that makes us feel compelled to want something. There are times and situations where we may not know if we truly want what we think we want. It is concerning when our own true preferences and interests may be replaced with ones that feed into our strong desire to be accepted by others instead of taking the time and effort to figure out what actually interests us or turns us on.

We each have a limited amount of time and energy for tasks that set us up for a successful and fulfilling future. When more energy is wasted on what other people think about us and about what we should be doing in our lives, we risk losing focus on those things that we really want to accomplish. Think about this when you have some quiet time to consider the person you are today and want to be in the future.

Instead of a focus on being accepted by others, we should work on seeing ourselves as a worthy person enjoying things that make us feel awesome. I’m not talking about building up our outside appearance to the rest of the world with an expensive car, overgrown biceps or thousands of dollars traveling to Puerto Vallarta. I’m talking about being honest with ourselves and those around us about our beliefs, passions, idiosyncrasies, interests, and quirks that make us wonderfully unique individuals.

Do you think Gandhi worried about people making fun of his haircut? Or that Celine Dion would cancel a show after someone posted online about the size of her nose? Get real about who <you> are and the importance of appreciating yourself.