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World AIDS Day revelation

World AIDS Day revelation

For World AIDS Day in 2010, the Metropolitan Community Church of the Rockies would present three speakers to the congregation: one to talk about the past, another to talk about the present, and a third to discuss the future for HIV and AIDS. And lo and behold, the church asked me to be the one to speak on the future.

By this time in my HIV journey, I had still been too disturbed by my own status to actually participate in any local World AIDS Day events. Even though was open about being poz with most of my close friends and family, I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to broadcast it to the world.

But I decided to accept the church’s offer — they must have seen some kind of potential in me. That sort of flattery can go a long way, even for something as nerve-racking as public speaking on HIV and AIDS.

But how would I know what the world needed for its future? I may not have been an expert on what the future needed for this disease medically or politically, but I certainly felt I understood the human dimension. The top two things that make HIV diagnosis so excruciatingly painful are the confusion and the loneliness — both resulting from the heavy stigma attached to HIV. I wondered if these things could easily be alleviated if people were just willing to be more open about being HIV positive.

This began to make sense and it applied not only to our own backyards but also in a Worldly context. The more we would sweep it under the rug, the more this disease could continue to spread and win. Surely the future of HIV and AIDS would shift dramatically if the
stigma stopped.

I started off my speech by explaining that stigma isn’t just a myth or a buzzword — any stroll through the Craigslist personal ads were example enough. Most would say “DDF only” or “I am negative, UB2.” I quoted a survey that had once been done on the former gay social networking website called “Connexion” asking users whether or not they would date someone who was HIV positive. Only about one-third of the responders said yes. To me, this didn’t sound like a community that was all that supportive or even truly educated about HIV and AIDS.

But we can’t expect other people to do the work for us. If anything, it’s up to us HIV-positive people to interfere with the vicious cycles of stigma by breaking the silence. I made a call to action for my audience: that we become the teachers by living more openly and honestly about our status.

Living honestly can help in two very significant ways. One, it can educate those in our community who are naive about the disease. Two, it can help ease that isolation for those who are newly diagnosed. Since silence fuels the stigma, and hiding our status helps no one, not even ourselves.

After I wrapped up my speech, I got off of my high horse and stepped down from the podium while the audience applauded. As I sat down, I had a new revelation on this World AIDS Day evening. What I had said was all fine and dandy but it didn’t mean anything if I didn’t put my money where my mouth was.

So I got out my phone and opened up the Facebook app. I updated my Facebook status: “Today is World AIDS Day. And I am coming out. I am HIV positive. I am happy. I am healthy. I am a survivor and I am not going to deny it anymore.” And with that revelation, I ended up officially broadcasting my HIV status to the world after all.

 

Scott McGlothlen is a cultural columnist on life as a HIV-positive gay man. r See more of Scott’s columns online at ofcnow.co/scott or contact him at scott@outfrontonline.com.

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