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Let’s be honest: For a straight (or curious) person who’s never come into close enough contact (physically or otherwise) with folks from our community, it’s a daresome and daunting challenge to “ask a wrong question” that usually stops them from ever doing so. And let’s also be honest about the fact that some LGBT folks over-react so hard that some people “learn” to never try that again. 

So let’s open up this dialogue. We stumbled upon a Reddit thread in which users were asked what they’d like to know about the LGBT community. Here are some of the questions and answers that were voted to the top. 


When you hug another naked woman, do you interweave your boobs in order to get closer? If so, who gets to decide whether you interweave to the left or the right? Does it feel as hideously wrong to interweave your boobs on the wrong side as it does to interweave your fingers on the wrong side, and is this considered reasonable grounds for ending a relationship?

Boobs are pretty mobile, so you just go in and they end up wherever. There’s either a smoosh or an unspoken over-under arrangement based on height.

Is it annoying hitting on someone only to find out that they’re straight?
For me I make sure they’re gay before hitting on anyone. I’d rather be turned down then punched in the face.

Do gay guys switch between pitcher and catcher, or is it always the same arrangement? And what’s a “power bottom”?
There are tops (who give) and bottoms (who take) and vers, (short for ‘versatile’ who do both). A power bottom is a bottom who controls penetration, or … a catcher who goes up and takes the ball from the pitcher.

What is something I’ll never understand as a straight person?
Seeing someone you think is hot and not knowing whether you want to be with that or look like that, also known as jealusty. 

Does it really annoy you when a girl meets you and gets excited, saying you’re her new gay bff?
It’s extremely annoying. Most people don’t realize I’m gay unless I mention something about my husband. Often, when women find out I am gay, they go on and on about having a gay best friend. They talk about going shopping, getting manicures and pedicures, etc. I’m not into any of that. If they want to come over and watch football with their friend who happens to be gay, then I am cool with that. It makes you seem more like a fashion accessory than a friend.

Lesbians who have never been with a man: What sexual act did you do that you define as “losing your virginity”?
Giving/receiving oral. It’s like the sixteen-year-old pinnacle of sex, the way penis-in-vagina sex is the pinnacle for straight kids, even if that’s not really the pinnacle of sex later in life.

What are the stereotypes associated with you that you absolutely hate?
That we’re a danger to children. This one refuses to go away. Even in my own family. My grandma asked, “Well then are you attracted to your sibling? Where’s the line? How do you define romantic love?” I had to reply with, “Are you attracted your sons? Where’s your line?” I also found out recently that apparently bisexual people are seen as unfaithful by both straight and gay people. If a bisexual person cheats on you, they did it because they are an asshole, not because they’re bi.

(From a bisexual woman:) I can’t stand the “you’re just a confused straight person” or “you’re not a real gay person” stereotypes. No, I am not a straight girl looking to experiment. No, I’m not just “coming out slowly.” I don’t know what’s so hard to understand about being attracted to both men and women.

Does it suck to have your interests or achievements constantly associated with your gender/sexual preference? On one hand I feel like it’s good to be proud of who you are, but on the other I can see it getting annoying hearing praise/criticism on something that shouldn’t matter.

I’m no vanguard for my sexuality or gender, but I think of it like being a hometown hero when it comes to people like me achieving certain things. It’s like, “Someone like me did that!” It doesn’t reduce anyone’s achievements to know some of where they came from, and it’s not like we live in a world that 100 percent loves queers all the time, so it also acknowledges the challenges they’ve faced.

Do you feel the way you are is rooted in genetics(wired that way) or in your development and life experience?

Definitely wired that way. I wasn’t exposed at all to gay people or anything “gay” growing up. I always wondered when I would start to be attracted to girls and could tell that girls drove my friends absolutely wild. I didn’t get those feelings but found myself incredibly attracted to things like muscle development and body hair in males.

For gay guys, before an expected special evening, would you ever give yourself an enema so your partner won’t have to deal with any poop residue?
That’s pretty much standard procedure when you think you’re gonna get f*cked. There are also ways you can change your diet for a couple days prior to keep things … cleaner, like avoiding meat and going heavy on fiber.

I’m curious for MTF transgender who have had sexual reassignment surgery: How does sex feel now?

Sex feels pretty great. The science behind the surgery ultimately gives you about 4-6″ of depth with labia majora and minora as well as a functional clitoris and clitoral hood. My significant other is cisgender and has said that inside and out it feels the same as hers and I can confirm the same conclusion. The new vagina has a g-spot as well as a prostate stimulation spot. You can even stimulate the prostate anally and vaginally at the same time. Most trans women who have been on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) have little to no testosterone so our prostates are about the size of an almond. They add significant sexual pleasure so the surgeons leave it in. Orgasm feels significantly different from a male orgasm. It isn’t quite as intense but it lasts longer and it’s waaay easier to orgasm 2, 3, or rarely 4 times back to back.

As a straight male I am so utterly clueless when it comes to women’s biology to begin with, but the cis female vagina has processes for self maintenance and cleaning right? I.E. a menstrual cycle. After your reassignment surgery, what do you have to do for personal hygiene to keep the new system working properly, clean, and shiny?

The menstrual cycle is not responsible for cleaning the vagina, the microbes that live in there do. There is actually a period of time post-op when a trans woman’s new vagina starts building up that microbe population. Trans women can get yeast infections just like cis women. As far as cleaning goes, once you’re done healing, it’s pretty much like maintaining a cis vagina, just without a cervix on the end.

Why is it that gays and lesbians tend to increase the property value of an area? I’m sure it’s not the case all the time, but in the area I live in this is true. The real estate agents around here swear you can get an idea of if a neighborhood is going up in value by the number of homosexual couples in the area.

The property value thing was more common in the last few decades when gays were less able to find places to live (usually due to homophobia from sellers or in the neighborhood, ect), most notably in the ‘nicer’ neighborhoods. Gay couples have a tendency to be childless (or have fewer children than straight couples on average) and likely two sources of income, generally meaning that they have considerably more income to spend on housing. So, you had a group of people who could only find housing well below what their income allowed, in areas which also didn’t have the shops/facilities normally associated with the income brackets. Essentially that translated into a lot of money spent on house improvements, and lots of businesses opening to attempt to collect on the additional spending money. Depending on how concentrated they were forced, that sudden infusion of money could cause pretty dramatic effects of a city’s district.

Got anything to add or ask? Feel free to in our comments section below … or on Facebook!