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Stuff Gay People Like: Stories about insecure women

Stuff Gay People Like: Stories about insecure women

Deep inside every gay man is a starry-eyed young girl, obsessing over whether she is fat.

In 2010, dating site OK Cupid took a snapshot of its users, gay and straight. The top interests that gay guys had but straight guys didn’t have were: The Devil Wears Prada, Mean Girls, Britney Spears, Kelly Clarkson, Project Runway and Drop Dead Gorgeous.

Those interests have probably changed since then, but gay men probably have not.

What’s the common thread that runs through those interests? They’re all stories about young women trying to triumph over adversity – hoping to look classy and important despite being secretly nervous or insecure. The women are young and ambitious, take their lumps and keep trying. For the most part they all have someone standing in their way, who they hate but secretly want to become: some bitch.

If there’s anything we love at Stuff Gay People Like, it’s reading too far in to things. So, reading too far into things, it must be that every gay man has an awkward woman inside him, he doesn’t feel classy but wants to look like he’s classy, and thinks every other gay man is a cynical bitch.

Regardless, we’d all rather live under the authority of a powerful woman – who lives in the city and has a gay best friend – than a powerful homophobic bro.

If we’re gonna be kicked off the runway, it’s better from Tyra Banks than Donald Trump. If we’re gonna be humiliated by a self-entitled clique leader, it’s better from Rachel McAdams than Armie Hammer. If a sadistic killer wants us dead by some “freak accident,” we’d rather it be Kirstie Allie than John Lithgow. If you have to choose between a bitch and a sociopath – gay men will take the bitch.

Perhaps there are two personalities in all of us; the adorable Anne Hathaway, book-smart and innocent, desperate to live up to the expectations of the meticulous, cutthroat and condescending Meryl Streep, who dismissively tilts her reading glasses as she calls out, with brutal honesty and unquestioned authority, your most obvious flaws. We are Anne Hathaway in high school; we are Meryl Streep when we get jobs. We are Anne Hathaway in the morning and Meryl Streep after a cocktail.

Or maybe, just maybe, Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep are one in the same. The yin and the yang – layered like Russian Nesting Dolls so that whichever face shows has its counterpart buried deep in our hearts.

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Stuff Gay People Like (SGPL) is a regular column. Visit the Facebook Page or view the whole list.

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