RE: FROM THE EDITOR:
‘Life After Youth,’
Jan. 15 // ofcnow.co/1At
Equating youth with value = losing game
I’m almost 60 and recently ended a long-term relationship with a 22-year-old. It was a sweet, involved, wonderful partnering.
All of this gay age hysteria is just that.
If you are genuine, actively curious and engaged with life and others, treat fellow beings and animals with respect, have a sense of humor and a relationship to what they call, in 12-step, a ‘higher power’ (whatever that is; IOW, some sort of humility towards what the mind or science can not immediately explain away in life) then other human beings will also be interested in you.
Age has nothing to do with it, save for those obsessed with aging and equating age with one’s value and desirability — always a losing game because, well, tick tock.
Thanks for a thoughtful post.
—Frederick Woodruff, Seattle
RE: STORIES TO TELL: Conversations with LGBT Elders • Jan. 15 // ofcnow.co/DYZ
Thanks for the Jan. 15 cover story on LGBT elders
Thanks for “Stories to tell”! I came out in the early 70s, in the service, on the Jersey shore. I’m sometimes surprised I survived the Continental Baths, being a stripper and posing for pics, all before I was 30! At 61, I’m so settled with my husband Vince of 32+ years that I look around and say yes, I may have made it. But we really haven’t, yet. I say thanks all of the time for the work still being done. I may also have to check SAGE out. Thank you. —Tom Carrigan
RE: Panel Voices ‘Advice for those still in the closet,’
Jan 1. // ofcnow.co/qwW
You don’t need other people to accept you
In the column about people in the closet, Pieter mentions the “pain of someone who dared hope for acceptance” but was disappointed, I’d like to point out that EXPECTATION is the breeding ground for DISAPPOINTMENT. Don’t “expect” anything from them, but prepare for all imaginable possibilities and accept whatever comes.
When I told my parents I was gay, it was to provide information, not to ask for permission. Their reaction was not at all going to affect how I felt about myself or my sexuality. If we had a difficult relationship, that would be one-sided on them, I wouldn’t play along or pretend something was wrong. I would never deny, disguise, despise, regret or turn down the volume on who I am because they had a problem with it.
For those who gauge their coming out decision based on whether someone or a church or an employer will embrace them is taking a risk. You can wait until everything appears to line up and then still be struck down by unexpected bias.
No announcement is necessary: just be who you are without veneer or disguise. When someone asks what you’re doing this weekend, answer honestly: “Going to Gary’s sister’s for dinner, my favorite barbecue ribs. Maybe some sodomy afterward. Costco on Sunday. You?”
RE: If you won the lottery today, what’s the first thing you’d do with the money?
Jan. 22 // ofcnow.co/lottery
Off to an island!
I would set up a trust. Pay off my debt, and then take care of my loved ones in a way that would help them, then off to an island!
—Melaney Estrada, Denver
Pay hospital bills
Pay off all our hospital bills from having a baby and all the complications my wife had.
—Jamie Camp, Arvada
Share the wealth
Share the dough with my favorite LGBT organizations, especially those helping the less fortunate and fighting for our civil rights, like I do with my limited funds currently.
—Ellis McFadden, Denver