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Speak Out: Are we all a part of the same dream?

Speak Out: Are we all a part of the same dream?

By Nita Mosby Henry 

Nita Henry
Nita Henry

Over the years, I have fondly, yet with a straight face, shared with my friends that I am writing a book called I have a Dream…and you’re not in it. No one really believes I will do it, but the impetus for me even saying it is something that I struggle with each day – when will we have a community with a coordinated dream where everyone is included?

This is the basis for almost every one of my hopes and dreams for the LGBT community in 2013.

I turned 50 years old late last year. A couple of extraordinary things happened as a result of that. Number one: I lost my ability to suppress my feelings (and the stuff that comes out of my mouth), and Number two: for the first time in my life, I started to seriously chronicle the social progress that I have witnessed and been a part of in my lifetime. That chronicle is shockingly powerful and contains life-changing lessons.

Here are some of the situations I have witnessed, with my own eyes or experienced, with my own being, in my lifetime:

  • Seeing Colored and White water fountains in my community.
  • Being told personally that “Negroes were not allowed” in particular public spaces.
  • Having my family racially integrate a neighborhood and experience visible community unrest.
  • Knowingly working in a Fortune 500 company next to a self-acknowledged Ku Klux Klansman.
  • Seeing the first African-American President, Secretary of State, Secretary of Defense, astronaut, governor, Supreme Court Justice, Olympic gold medalist, serial killer, etc.
  • Seeing the election of an out lesbian Congresswoman.
  • Watching LGBT people lose their jobs, homes, families or church relationships just because they were LGBT.
  • Watching a silly television show, seeing a person “come out” on the show, and watching the show go off the air. The end.

The list goes on, but you get my point: I’ve seen a lot. It is that history that I bring forward with me as I interpret where we are going. I don’t want to forget what it took to get this far. If I forget, how will I ever appreciate and value what I have?

I am learning that the important historical voice around social progress cannot be lost in our heavy motivation to proceed and advance. In other words, if we don’t remember (or even know) where we came from and those who were there fighting through or experiencing the issues of the past, the ultimate “win” will only be won by some of us. Sadly, I may just be learning that “winning,” no matter what it is, truly takes the whole team. The issue is that, unlike football, it isn’t always easy to know who is actually ON the team when it comes to social progress. Additionally, it is dangerous to stereotype that because we have some similarities as a community that we also have the same motivations.

All of this “now-you’ve-turned-50-and-are-more-confused-than-ever” stuff has made me think about my 2013 hopes and dreams for the LGBT community. I have a few categories that I will focus on. Those areas will help in getting me closer to what I dream for us:

  1. I want Colorado to be a leader in the area of inclusivity strategies. We have a big opportunity to teach the rest of the country how to engage whole communities to advance initiatives, LGBT and beyond, within a state. In particular, Colorado has done extraordinary work in LGBT and straight ally collaboration. This is a great example of what inclusion looks like. I want us to leverage that experience to create more racial, ethnic and gender inclusion within the LGBT community. We have a big opportunity to stop “assuming” who’s on the team” and do some real work to make sure we know exactly who is on the team and why, that people are truly engaged and that they are personally impacted by the work being done.
  2. I want to see Civil Unions in Colorado, but I want to be sure to talk about what it really means in individual lives.  This will be another one of those community “wins,” but I am more interested in how the win touched the lives of couples. I have so many friends who have been partnered for decades and I want us to be able to talk, intimately, about the impact civil unions has on their lives. In many ways just having civil unions is not enough…we have to be able to talk about impact on lives. Those are the real newspaper headlines.
  3. Lastly, I want to see the LGBT community continue to lead the way on issues that impact all of us. We have a monumental opportunity to lead almost every cause that exists in communities. Having LGBT people at the forefront creates the great equalizer – we fight for the causes that serve everyone. This speaks to our ability to think outside of ourselves. What a novel concept!

I am excited about the strides we can make in 2013. The groundwork is already set for many areas and the community really can have a voice in where we go next. Maybe it is time to revisit the name of that book I’m writing: I have a dream…and it looks like you’re all in it!

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