Single and Looking: Local lesbians and gays on love and dating

This is part of Out Front’s June 20 Cover Story – A jungle out there: How lesbians and gays find love and dating

Leslie Herod, 29, Lesbian woman

Dates: Women
Occupation: Program Officer
Single for: Long enough!

“Denver has a great dating scene! There is always so much to do and people are really open to meeting other people. The scene here is far less pretentious than in other cities, so people are generally pretty approachable. But women don’t go out as much and it can be kind of hard to connect initially I mostly meet people out either at clubs or events. I haven’t tried the online dating scene – yet.

I’m looking for someone who shares my interests in politics, the arts, and community. You know, the Rachel Maddow/Robin Roberts type – brainy, nerdy, and looks like she can shoot a basket. Also, I’m really drawn to women who are comfortable with themselves and are out about their sexuality. Ultimately, I am looking for someone who I can share my life with, but I wouldn’t mind a few dates in the meantime ;).”

Brian Bartlett, 33, Gay male

Dates: Men
Occupation: Professional
Single for: 8 months

“I’m looking for a man who truly gets me, as well as respects my choices in how I live my life. I need a standup man who can honestly say that he can endure efficiently to whatever may come his way and, to be proud that I can do the same without contradicting me for any reasons. I am seeking new friends, first and foremost. If something should develop, then we’ll have to decide if both of us want anything more than friendship. I believe in taking baby steps first.

I would call myself an Optimistic Realist. I’ve learned to be more patient, to look at every relationship as a learning experience, whether good or bad. A person may come into our lives for a long time or only a moment to aid us and help us. It may be hurtful or joyous but there’s a meaning to all of our relationships. Hopefully if we wait long enough we will find that perfect right person for us.”

Linda Cox, 50, Butch lesbian woman

Dates: Women
Occupation: Owner/operator of RENTaBUTCH
Single for: More than 1 year

“I’m an Old School Butch Woman. I love women. Feminine women. I know I’m a dinosaur, but I really love the Butch-Femme dynamic – I’ve seen the community change quite a bit. It used to be that the only place you could meet other LBGT was if you went to the bars. Now you can meet us everywhere.

It has been my experience that lesbians are notoriously bad at dating. Courtship is the most important part of getting to know someone. That means one, maybe two dates a week, not meet Friday night and spend every waking moment with someone until it’s 3 months later and suddenly you’re having a breakup with tears and recriminations when you should have been still at the having a burger at Mary’s stage. I know, I’ve done this myself and so have you so don’t lie.”

Caleb Mihai Tillapaugh, 22, Gay male, “aspiring aesexual”

Dates: Men
Occupation: Barista
Single for:One year
“I was in the Wyoming gay community and I hope it will be very different in the Denver community. I usually meet people at bars, and through my friends. Really, I’m just looking for a fun date with someone who can show me around the town.

Most importantly, I’m looking for someone who does not waste their potential. I like mountain men beards as well as men wearing Patagonia and flannel. I just recently moved to the city so I’m looking for a date or two, but nothing too serious.”

Jeff ‘Sydney’ Andrews, 47, Gay male / Female Impersonator

Dates: Men
Occupation: Marketing Manager
Single for: “Most of my life”

“In the dating scene I always had to hide “Sydney” – the drag part of my life. There is a stereotype that drag queens want to be of the opposite sex, and while some do, drag is my avenue and angle for supporting our community and raising money for much needed charities and organizations. It takes a very open minded individual to truly respect the amount of work, talent and sacrifice that goes into the art of illusion.

I’d prefer to meet people outside of the bar scene. Other social avenues such as organizational events/receptions, etc are more ideal as are coffee houses, or other social environments. I’m not too open to the online dating mechanisms, but I’m not totally opposed to it either.

It seems like Denver has a high volume of committed relationships, which is great but also challenging.”