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Same-Sex Mail-Order Husbands/Brides?

Same-Sex Mail-Order Husbands/Brides?

One word answer: Maybe.

Pieter Tolsma

Marriage equality comes packed with perks for couples. I’ve already received three wedding invitations for same-sex weddings next year and let me tell you, they’re all that kind of well-executed adorable that makes you feel warm all over. This begs the important question: Where is my hot slice of domestic bliss? Everyone else is looking like tasteful gay sepia-tone Hallmark cards! (And you all know you better start shopping now, because whatever you buy for them has to be imported and amazing.) While you are looking desperately around online for hand-etched, sterling silver expensiveness, maybe you should check out something special for yourself.

That’s right, lonely hearts. There is something new to put in your online shopping cart: a mail-order spouse. While Amazon may not feature it yet, it definitely exists and he or she is just a few clicks (and a whole lot of money and paperwork) away. The repeal of DOMA means that same-sex couples can appeal for visas for spouses just like all the straight folks do. In other words, the buffet table is open, so go ahead and grab a plate.

Of course there are a few practical concerns. First off, it would probably be nice if they actually loved you if are planning to marry them, but if you get them over here and it’s more Lifetime Channel drama than the Hallmark Channel bliss you wanted, you get a do over! You qualify for two fiancé(e) visas over the course of your lifetime, so dust yourself off and get back in the game! There are plenty more strangers where that one came from!

There are a few other things to be aware of as well. As an American citizen, you are privy to quite a few benefits that others in more vulnerable parts of the world only dream about. The reason why the industry works is because you are leveraging your citizenship and economic benefit to help the disadvantage and political hardship of others. Most “mail order” brides or grooms are from countries of poverty and political unrest and are desperately looking for a way to escape, even if it means marrying an American stranger to get away. Even cursory research into the industry shows that it relies on the desperate and inhospitable living situations of origin countries as incentive. LGBT rights are often nonexistent as well, which only adds to their desire to get away.

Fear not! There are some great possibilities! Perhaps you could avoid the puppy-mill model of spouse-shopping and just go over and find a lovely partner in person and take in some culture at the same time. This is an option too and it cuts out the intermediary. Traveling abroad can take on a more long-term possibility because you can now potentially marry and bring back your love interests. Keep in mind you need to remain married for two years or they will lose their residency privileges and will be sent back.

While you’re scouring around for vintage-this and one-of-a-kind-that gifts for all those beautiful brides and grooms, perhaps you could lighten the mood and plan a trip for yourself. I hear the Czech Republic is beautiful at Christmas time.

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