As I was reading the Denver Post I came across another article about the greater acceptance of same sex marriage laws throughout the land. Bans on gay marriage are falling faster than the tears of a Christian preacher confessing his adultery.
What had me laughing out loud is the new Christian argument that same sex marriage will lead to a decline in birth rates, not only in our country, but also around the world. I can barely type that statement as it still makes me giggle.
This argument is one of the “Top Ten Harms of Same-Sex Marriage” listed on the Family Research Council’s website. If you need a good laugh, it’s really worth a read (online at ofcnow.co/FRC).
So how is this supposed to work exactly? If gay men and women are allowed to marry, straight couples are going to stop giving birth all over the world? Like that’s going to happen. Ever since Eve bit into that apple, the pussy has been let out of the bag and it ain’t going back.
Are straight couples supposed to be so turned off by gay marriage that they will lose all interest in sex? “I’m sorry, honey. I cannot possibly do you tonight. I just found out the gay neighbors got married and my dick has gone limp.” Sex is going to take place, straights are going to knock each other up, and babies will always be crying next to you on the airplane.
Maybe the Christians mean that gay couples will not be having extra babies and the world population will decline because of that.
News flash. Gay couples, if anything, are having more babies as a result of gay marriage. There has been a gayby explosion in our neighborhood of Gaypleton. Gay men are surrogating and adopting babies like there’s a red tag sale at Macy’s.
And as for the lesbians, hello! Double the pleasure, double the fun. Or I should say, double the womb, double the kids. With women, you have two baby ovens under one roof. Their kitchen has a double convection oven and it’s cooking up a storm. I would not be surprised to see a lesbian baby reality show on The Food Network — Popped, where lesbians compete to see who can launch a baby down and out the birth canal the farthest.
Even if their statement was true, would it really be a bad thing? If same sex marriage really did curtail birth rates, would a few less people on our planet using up all our natural resources and clogging up our fabulous dance clubs be a bad thing? I would think not.
Let’s get real. The Christian Right is losing this battle over same-sex marriage. They are firing with blanks (which really would lead to a decline in population). It’s time we start calling them the Christian Wrong. Right?