It Really Is the Little Things

O’Brien Gunn

Marriage equality is sweeping America by nuptial storm, so you may find yourself looking at your partner in a new light. But before you go to Jared, consider the little things for a moment; these are deets about your relationship-compatibility that go through a mutant growth spurt the very moment you say “I do.”

Family

Even if you get along with your partner’s family, you have to remember that you’ll be marrying them too. Marriage changes several relationships, not just the relationship you have with your partner. Will your extroverted and touchy/feely in-laws adjust to your introverted and hands-off approach? Are you willing to hide or alter parts of your personality or your opinions in order to keep the peace with your new family? This doesn’t have to be a deal breaker when it comes to marriage, but it should be something you discuss at length with your partner before you do the Cupid Shuffle down the aisle.

Spending Habits

Money is one of the biggest little issues when it comes to a relationship and marriage. The spending-habit seed is planted when you first start dating and see how often they’re willing to pay for the both of you or if they ask to split the check. Not only should you pay attention to your significant other’s spending habits when they’re stretching a dollar like they’re doing financial yoga, you’ll also want to take note of how they spend when the dividends are flowing like a slam poem. Are each of your individual money habits compatible, or do they come together like gas and fire? Ask if you can honestly see yourself sharing finances with this person or if you’ll need separate checking accounts and credit cards as soon as the honeymoon is over.

Religion

Are you willing to marry someone who doesn’t share the same religious views as you? How about someone who’s an atheist or agnostic? Before having a serious relationship with another person, many people first have a relationship with a higher power or cultivate spiritual views that align with their lifestyle and their perceptions. You may be asked to convert to a specific religion or attend religious services, even if it’s only a few times a year. Be completely open and honest with yourself and your partner about religion/spirituality and what it means to you.

Kids

Having kids and wanting kids is something else that absolutely has to be discussed before marriage, no matter how gay or straight that marriage might be. Not only should you talk about whether or not you see yourself having kids, but when you see yourself having kids. Do you want to wait until you’re both settled in your careers? If so, how long do you realistically think it will take for your careers to take off? If you plan on adopting, would you be willing to adopt a child of a different racial background than you? Do you want boys or girls? How do you feel about special needs children or children who are older but still need a good home?

While marriage is a beautiful thing, it’s an act that should be examined from every conceivable facet, no matter how small that facet might be. Upgrade your perception to HD before you go down on bended knee.