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Not Looking Too Inclusive, Russell Tovey

Not Looking Too Inclusive, Russell Tovey

By Peter Tolsma

Russell Tovey, an openly gay British actor who is part of the cast of HBO’s Looking, recently mentioned in an interview that he was pleased that his father had not let him attend dramatic arts schools because the experience would’ve allowed him to express effeminate — and possibly flamboyant — tendencies without fear of not being accepted.

Tovey’s comments struck a nerve with me and while I accept his right to speak his mind, I reserve my right to call him out for the things he says. Tovey, perhaps without thinking, waded into a somewhat contentious and timeless discussion about masculinity standards. The struggle pits those who can “pass” as heterosexual against those who are incapable or unwilling to perform. Those who can pass are considered normal (or unremarkable) and have historically been accepted, or at very least glossed past. Those who are unable to pass get noticed and experience the consequences, which have historically been negative, if not deadly.

Things have improved contemporarily, right? Absolutely. Drag shows, RuPaul, and Nina Flowers have all made a space for gender performance and flexibility. A greater focus on trans* rights is starting the discussion about gender performance and its value. We’ve come a long way toward understanding that gender identity is a spectrum and that gender itself is malleable, with men and women transitioning to where they belong. This progress was groundbreaking, hard won, and paid for by the blood, sweat, and tears of those who live in these liminal or in-between spaces. The entire community has reaped the benefits of this dedicated minority’s labor.

I struggled to identify what about Tovey’s comments frustrated me. He is totally cool with being gay and happy to share that, and to me that seems like significant progress — especially compared to how it was in the past. The difference relates to his perspective on how the gay community is, versus how he perceives it should be. In the end, I believe it boils down to his mindset that effeminate, flamboyant gays are somehow less worthy or a detriment to society at large. The impression of his words is that despite greater social acceptance of femininity in men, these gay men are still second-class citizens.

Do we have different requirements of butch versus fem guys? It’s a tough question, but one that’s worth asking. I believe society has different expectations for effeminate gay men than it does for butch gay guys. Butch gays are largely unable to be picked out (that would be the point) and thus have no expectations beyond the norm. Effeminate gay men are easily picked out and are subject to different expectations. The flamboyant gay men we see on television and in movies are usually sassy and over the top. If flamboyant gay men were always camp, that would be one thing, but the expectation that these men must perform is the issue. Tovey mentions that his father wouldn’t allow him to attend dramatic arts schooling. The connection is so potent that Tovey suggests even attending dramatic arts school would taint him and change him from a masculine, butch gay young man into a “prancing, effeminate” gay man. He was thankful that his father didn’t allow him to undergo this irreversible, irresistible change for he believes it would be to his detriment. With this, Tovey, possibly unknowingly, picked up one of the oldest and most offensive tools of heteronormative, masculinist society: sexism. Femininity is once again written off as being a defective state, one associated with weakness and shame.

In the end, the issue comes down to sexism. As the LGBT world finds greater acceptance domestically, we become subject to more of the pressures of the mainstream, where sexism is pervasive. Tovey is embracing the norms, looks, and attitudes of a heteronormative male and, unfortunately, he seems to be showing off some of the ugly parts, too. I am all about greater acceptance and integration, but that means we as LGBT have to be ready for some new pressures.

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