Mother battles the courts for daughter Berlyn’s return

The December day Wendy Alfredsen was supposed to pick up her daughter from school, she wasn’t there. Wendy was informed Berlyn was removed from school to attend her great-grandmother’s funeral in Norway.

Had these events happened only eight months later, Lena’s actions would have been in violation of a newly passed law that prohibits parents from leaving the state until permanent orders are set, said Wendy’s lawyer Ann Gushurst, who is taking this case pro-bono.

In 2004, when the two women adopted the biological sisters, Berlyn and Liberty, Colorado did not yet recognize second parent adoptions. Each of the women  legally adopted one of the sisters, with the intent that the other would serve as a guardian of the other child.

Through the entire adoption process, the two women and two sisters were referred to by the judge as a family unit. “Through the whole hearing, the judge never referred to us separately. We were a family,” Wendy said.

The women ended their relationship in the fall of 2009.

Shortly after the separation Wendy sought legal counsel and filed for parental rights. Wendy filed with the state, the  Department of Children’s Affairs in Washington D.C. and at the International Courts in Norway through the Hague Treaty. After four court hearings, Wendy has been deemed a psychological parent and granted weekly phone calls and monthly visitation rights.

Another court herring awaits Wendy in September.

In a precedent setting case – both state and international law could be challenged – Wendy hopes to give a voice to the many men and women who have lost their parental rights.

“This isn’t just about my case,” she said. “It’s about protecting families for generations to come.”

“No family should be separated by a simple piece of paper,” she said. Because Wendy’s name is not on Berlyn’s birth certificate, she is not deemed a legal parent.

Out Front Colorado made several attempts to contact Lena and her lawyer Barbara Jensen. Neither have returned phone calls nor emails.

The last time Wendy visited Berlyn was in April. “Berlyn grabbed me around the neck and said, ‘I missed you mommy,’” Wendy said. “She doesn’t understand what’s going on. It wasn’t like I was a part-time parent before. I was with her 24/7, I worked from home. We were always with the kids.”

One of Wendy’s biggest fears is that as more time passes, Berlyn will lose that bond with her and with her sister Liberty.

If second parent adoptions had been in effect in Colorado when the two women adopted the sisters, things would be different.

Mindy Barton, legal director of the GLBT Community Center of Colorado, said that “generally when laws are passed there is not a method to ‘grandfather in’ rights which previously did not exist.”

This makes it impossible for Wendy to be a co-signer on Berlyn’s birth certificate unless the parent listed, Lena, initiates filing for the process.

Colorado’s second parent adoption law went into effect on August 3, 2007.

“The intent behind the law was to give children in Colorado greater economic security. Until this change in the law, children may have had two people caring for them, but the state of Colorado would have denied the parental rights and responsibilities of their parent’s partner,” Barton said.

In Wendy’s case, Colorado laws passed a little too late.

Wendy held a press conference June 7 on the west steps of the Capitol to speak publicly about her struggles. Supporters and members of the press watched as Wendy gave her emotional plea to the Colorado public.

“It’s hard to go back to that day,” Wendy said. “I still sleep with the T-shirt she had on the last day I had her, under my pillow every night.”

Gushurst enforces, “We are in the best interest of the child in this matter.”

To her, the best outcome in this case would be for the child to receive care and parenting, from both parents. Gushurst believes that it will take a lot of lesbian mothers enduring this struggle in order for the laws to change.

Wendy’s mother, San Clay, believes that this case isn’t about a bad-breakup, or even about the two women’s personal battles. “It’s all about the kids, the kids right not to lose family,” she said. “It takes a village to raise a child.”

Beyond that, this is also about the eldest daughter, Liberty. She and Berlyn were placed with adoptive parents together. Human Services placed the children with Wendy and Lena in order to keep them together.

Wendy said that she has requested that Lena file a parental allocation of rights for Liberty as well. Liberty has also lost a parent, as well as a little sister.

“Spreading the word is the biggest way people can help, whether it’s my story, or someone else’s. It’s the same thing as civil unions or bullying, all of us need more equal protection,” Wendy said.

To learn more about Wendy’s struggle to bring her daughter home and learn about ways to help, visit www.facebook.com/berlynsjourneyforjustice.