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Speak Out: Living Beyond Oxygen

Speak Out: Living Beyond Oxygen

Kody2By Kody Kay

It started as a midlife crisis when I turned 50 — I began a whirlwind journey to live a life I previously was not brave enough to pursue. I was restless and I didn’t know why. I enjoyed my work, but found myself wanting more. I was surrounded by family and friends who loved me, and I loved them, and yet, I felt isolated and lonely. I thought a new tattoo would bring me solace. When one didn’t do the trick, I got another, and then another. I was searching – but I didn’t know for what.

Later that year, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. As mom started losing her hair, my younger sister and I decided to show our support by shaving our heads. It was in that moment, I finally knew the source of my problem. I had to confront the very thing I had been suppressing for all these years: I was a man. And I needed, yes needed, to live in the world, fully expressed, as a man. So, with the help of a few close friends, the plan for Kody’s birth was plotted.

I was scheduled to be the announcer at a gay rodeo in Oklahoma City over Memorial Weekend. I arranged for my head to be shaved after the awards banquet — a fundraiser for two friends battling ovarian cancer. I showed up as the woman, Kimberley, that everyone knew. And then, for the first time, Kody, the man I couldn’t wait for everyone to meet, showed up to the after-party. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time, and without a doubt, the best moment of
my life!

Since then, there have been so many “firsts,” like my first testosterone shot and my first shave. There have been other exciting moments, like changing the gender marker on my driver’s license and my very successful top surgery, just a year ago.

There has also been some trials – losing friends that don’t accept the new me, acne, and struggling to fit in to the dating scene. But now, 21 months into this amazing journey, I am blessed to be stumbling my way around, childlike, and continuing to grow into the man I have always known myself to be.

Maybe for my next mid-life crisis, I’ll just buy a Corvette.

Kody Kay keeps a video diary of his transition. For more detailed stories, pictures and videos including his “Reveal” video with more than 50,000 views on YouTube, click here. Contact Kody at kodykay11@gmail.com.

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