GOV’ LOV’: How the governor’s friendship with Yours Truly makes him the best candidate

Whether you like it or not, we are in another election year. The negative TV ads have already begun. Our governor, John Hickenlooper, is up for reelection and at least seven Republicans are trying to get into his pants. Figuratively, of course, but you never know with those GOP types.

But they’ll never be as cool as John. Yes, I call him John. Mr. Waste just hates that, but John and I are on a first name basis. Mr. Waste worked for Hickenlooper when he was mayor of Denver and then, governor of Colorado. Mr. Waste could never get away with calling his boss by his first name. But I can. And I do.

The first time I met John was at a GLBT fundraiser in Capitol Hill when he was running for mayor. I was in drag and we had our picture taken. Just days before the results of the mayoral election were announced, the picture was published in this paper.

“How in the world did you get your picture taken so quickly with the new mayor?” everyone asked me. Timing, baby.

When I received an invitation to John’s mayoral inaugural gala at the Denver Botanic Gardens, I knew I had to show up in drag. I whipped up a fashionable Astroturf dress and hat, studded with daisies for the occasion. As I was standing in a reception line to greet the new mayor, I overheard the two women in front of me who were
completely appalled.

“I can’t believe this drag queen showed up AND she has the nerve to greet our new mayor!”

As the line crept forward, John caught sight of me and shouted, “Nuclia! How are you? You look amazing!”

“Oh my god,” the two women gasped, “He knows her.”

Recently at the Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire’s Coronation 41 in April, Mr. Waste asked me to escort Gov. Hickenlooper to the ballroom. He was a surprise guest for the coronation guests. Of course, I was dressed as a pink fairy, with six-inch glitter platform boots, fiber-optic lighted wings, and a studded collar
of rhinestones.

“What are you doing here waiting outside of the ballroom?” at least half a dozen people asked me.

“I’m waiting for the governor to show up.”

“Yeah, right. You are so funny.” John came strolling down the hall and I never saw so many jaws hit the floor.

I must give my Nuclia Waste Plutonium Seal of Approval in this year’s gubernatorial election to Governor John Hickenlooper. Not only is he a good friend to me, he is an ally to the GLBT community. Under his watch, we have passed more pro-gay legislation than under any other governor before him. He deserves another term. So come this fall, check the box marked John.