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Finding the ‘m-e’ in team

Finding the ‘m-e’ in team

As a child, I was given every excuse not to be active: I had flat feet, asthma and allergies. It was the perfect combination to keep me inside, removed from the world of football, basketball and baseball – the hat trick for Pueblo boys.

While my classmates were at summer camp, or at the swimming pool, I was bunkered in my grandmother’s basement away from the sun – I watched press briefings and Senate debates on CSPAN.

I tried to find a home on the field during the eighth grade. Having recently grown out of my asthma, I took on football.

The totality of my football skill set was Super Bowl commercials and what little I picked up from my grandfathers when I was forced to watch the Broncos on Sunday. I should have been placed on the junior varsity team, but one day after practice, the coach called me over and told me because of my size, he had to put me on varsity.

I was second-string right offensive guard and special teams.

Every day of that summer vacation I was at Roncalli’s football field at 7 a.m. I did everything that was asked of me – running, jumping, hitting, tackling – but no matter what I did, I never won the acceptance of my teammates.

To be fair, I doubt it had anything to do with my sexuality. I mostly presented myself as asexual.

But if there was ever doubt about how much I didn’t belong, David Allen, a linebacker, would remind me and the rest of the team.

Just as I was rounding out the last of the offensive line coming in from laps, he would call out my nickname, “Baywatch.” Evidently, my “moobs” had about the same effect on him as Pamela Anderson’s.

Despite the harassment – what our society calls “boys being boys” – I stuck it out. But I never returned to team sports.

(As a high school freshman, I did take a stab at shot put. But track and field is, as I understand it, more about personal bests than working as a team.)

In this issue of Out Front we explore the role LGBT–affirming organized sports play in our culture. Intern Kristin Ziegler has learned my experience with team sports is not an isolated event. In fact, most of the athletes she spoke with at SportsFest echo my previous dissatisfaction with organized sports and how groups like Team Colorado can be a starting point for the healing process.

Whether it was homophobia, athletic ability, self-confidence or any combination of events that forbid these team members from playing in the past: Team Colorado and the like are offering active LGBT Coloradans a team they can be a part of – on and off the field.

As for me, I’m not planning on going out for a sport any time soon. I’ve found my team here at Out Front. But there is a reassurance that comes from knowing there is a spot for me – and you – whenever we choose to embrace our inner jock.

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