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The Distant (Grass)Lands of “Adventure Time”

The Distant (Grass)Lands of “Adventure Time”

Hey pot smokers, have you heard the good news? There’s a cartoon streaming on Netflix that will blow your cannabinoid-soaked minds. Imagine a post-apocalyptic world filled with hundreds of kooky kingdoms, a unique princess for each one. Imagine a sociopathic king with magical ice powers and a legion of the most adorable penguins you’ve ever seen. Imagine the last remaining human child with a hero-complex and his shapeshifting dog going on fantastical journeys while singing auto-tuned techno.

My friends, I give you “Adventure Time.” True, it’s a show made for kids, but doubly true: adults love it too. The reason is pretty easy to see — while the storylines are simple and easy to follow, the episodes themselves are punctuated with enough adult-themed jokes that a parent will be just as entertained, making for an ultimate family show. Not sold on the idea just yet, smokers? Don’t worry, I’m getting there.

Most of the episode plotlines revolve around the two main characters: Jake the dog and Finn the human. Raised together as brothers, these two have an unquenchable thirst for adventure and badassery. Because Finn is the last remaining human, some plotlines revolve around the bonerific feelings he gets around princesses, and Jake (who totally watched the puberty videos we all watched in fourth grade) is wise enough to help him navigate it. Their dynamic is hilarious and adorable without being overbearingly bro-like.

“Adventure Time” shines when the side characters do. Lumpy Space Princess has a voice of a nasally nine-year-old boy or a frog, and it’s hard to tell which. She is a classic teenaged girl and throws tantrums constantly. She uses “lump,” “lumping,” and variations of “lumps” in lieu of curse words and body part names and her line: “I’m really, really sorry Finn, but I can’t help you because my parents are horrible idiots,” was censored on Australian television. “Lump off, mom!” was just fine.

Another notable and hilarious side character is the Ice King. Correctly labelled as a sociopath by the Cosmic Owl (don’t ask) the Ice King’s only goal in life is to kidnap a princess who will love him. His storyline is the deepest by far: he used to be a scientist who was studying an ancient crown, but when he tried to crown on, he turned evil and developed ice powers. That was sort of a spoiler, but there are 600 more Ice King spoilers that you are missing by not watching “Adventure Time” right now.

If you need even more levels of awesome, let’s delve into the world in which “Adventure Time” takes place: The land of Ooo. It takes quite a commitment to the show to realize that Ooo is actually a post-apocalyptic Earth. A nuclear fallout has caused all life to be wiped from the planet, and evolution re-did its thing and repopulated, though with very different results — the world is full of magical creatures, evil beings, and fantastical monster-bellied teddybear rave parties.

One thing about “Adventure Time” that will harsh anyone’s buzz: there is a terrible jackhammer sound at the end of every episode. So you’re sitting there, enjoying your dumb, hilarious cartoon and BAM! Jackhammer. It’s the worst and everyone should write the producer of “Adventure Time” some letters or something.

There are so many reasons why “Adventure Time” is one of the most entertaining shows on television. How do I condense something so cool into 500 words? I happily share my own passion for altered-mind television with the first state that openly embraces altered-mind vegging in front of the nearest Netflix-streaming device. My best advice? Start with episode one. As far as pilots go, “Adventure Time” captures the spirit of the show that remains evident through every season.

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