Denver PrideFest proves to be drag-athlon

When I posted on Facebook that I would be hosting three events over PrideFest weekend in June, my sister Karen replied that I was doing a “drag-athlon.”

And she was so right.

Saturday morning I was up at the crack of dawn applying glue and glitter to my face to impress the hounds descending upon Civic Center park for the world-famous Petco Dogs In Drag Contest. I’m not sure what makes it world-famous. We had 13 contestants this year, the most ever, but none were from exotic lands – unless you count Chihuahuas being from Mexico. We were positively overrun with the little rodents, er, precious perros. I love all dogs but you have to admit it’s hard to tell the difference between someone carrying a rat or a Chihuahua down the street.

My friend Bob Krugmire fashioned some fabulous trophies and assisted with the event. Petco donated doggie treats, pooch watering stations and seven enormous doggie gift baskets from Natural Balance. The Demented Divas performed an opening number from 102 Dalmatians, featuring Cruella De Vil, with three small children dressed as puppies. Those faux puppies were made into a fabulous faux coat and matching muff. Nothing says PrideFest like slaughtering innocent puppies and children on stage.

First place for Best Dog In Drag went to a bulldog who was all butched up in a construction worker’s outfit. Second place went to a Catahoula, drag name “I Dream of Weenies,” owned by Jorge Hernandez. Third went to “Princess Prada,” a dachshund owned by Peter Herbet. Taking the prize for Best Dog Owner in Costume went to “The Pride Puppy,” a white Maltese dyed in rainbow flag colors. His owner, Jourdan Dearmond frolicked in rainbow fringed pants and a Skittle bow tie. You really could taste the rainbow on Jourdan.

After the contest ended at 1 p.m., I rushed home and wiped my face down to a blank slate for the second leg of my drag-athlon. On Saturday evening I emceed and hosted the Mr. Colorado Leather 2011 contest at the Sherman Street Events Center. The only thing I love more than dressing in drag, is dressing in leather. And if I can combine the two, even better. I wore a custom leather harness with shoulder pads by Carlos of CJ’s Leather. I had Carlos design the harness so it would work with my three boobs in drag, and my flatter, boy chest when out of drag. He’s a genius. Completing the ensemble was a leather gauntlet skirt and black boots.

Four contestants competed for the title – Vidal Salazar, Russ Shaver, Levi “Otter” Healy and the tall drink of water, Kyle Kastner. Everyone did well modeling the categories of Jock Strap, Casual Wear and Leather Image/Speech. After a rather long-winded step down by Mr. Colorado Leather 2010 Brent Heinze, Healy was declared the winner. Congrats, Healy, on your new year and we hope you do us proud at IML in Chicago next year.

After the contest, and against my better judgment considering I had to be up at 5 a.m. the next morning for the parade, I popped into the Denver Wrangler for a nightcap. This would be the wet portion of my drag-athlon. I was positively swimming in cocktails, making for a rough – and rushed – morning.

I barely made it to Cheesman Park before the Dykes On Bikes peeled down Colfax Avenue. I quickly strapped on my new jumping stilts and couple of rainbow patio umbrellas that I had fashioned into my costume. I was a gay Tigger, bouncing all the way down to Civic Center Park. It was exhausting but fun. I literally bounced circles around the anti-gay protesters in front of the cathedral. My legs were rubber by the end of the parade but I stayed in those stilts until 4 p.m. That’s like spending six hours on a trampoline. But, it was worth it.