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Gay people are known to love interior decorating, fashion, art, theater, having good hair, sugary drinks, Brokeback Mountainand dancing. These are all fantastic and morally-neutral things that gay men can like or not like for their own varying reasons. There’s at least one asshole at every party who wrinkles his nose at each and every one of them, for no other reason than his need to prove he isn’t like all the rest of the gays.

As a result he is forced to dress like shit, arrange his apartment chaotically, claim his favorite movie is 2 fast 2 furious, put only John Belushi posters on his wall and drink ass-tasting beers such as Shiner Bock. This, in fact, makes him far more stereotypical than he would have been, except that now instead of being a stereotypical gay he’s a stereotypical male. He views this as an upgrade.

Strangely, he’ll insist that the majority of gay men are conformists, which signals to him that they have a lack of depth, and the thing that sets him apart is that unlike the rest of them he is “just a normal guy.” Not effeminate, not artsy; but normal. Which he says makes him unique, though the majority of gay people find him to be less unique – a walking cliché – and kind of a prick.

He will desperately seek the acquaintance of straight male friends, friends who have been in good manly institutions like fraternities or the military, two of three of whom will be named Chad and the rest Steve or Tyler. He will talk up his acquaintance with them whenever he is in the company of gays, and he may even announce that he simply does not see what’s wrong with being in the closet. There is an above-average chance that this fellow affiliates with the Republican party, has pictures of himself holding a gun on his Connexion profile, or grew up in the state of Texas.

Stereotypes can have a crushing effect: there is nothing worse than having someone tell you that because you are gay you can’t really be in to sports or that you can’t be brought along with straight guys because you’d constantly be hitting on them. Indeed, sports can be great, as is avoiding sexually inappropriate situations, and there is nothing about being gay or even a “typical” gay that precludes you from having a competent grasp over those matters. The great irony is that the self-described alternative gay who so loathes stereotypes still thinks that the majority of gay people besides him fit into them.

There are countless manifestations of the “non-stereotypical” gay. It can come in the form of the “average guy,” the “straightacting,” the “masculine guy” or as “hating the gay scene.

Gay men hate the idea of being stereotypical. Bring it up and you’ll soon find out who he feels. “Not stereotypical” is in fact the most stereotypical thing a gay man can be.


Stuff Gay People Like (SGPL: ABOUT) is a regular column. Visit the Facebook Page.