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With the unpredictability and surprise that accompanies the rising of the sun, a private company with a notorious history of financially supporting anti-LGBTQ groups has donated to anti-LGBTQ groups. Chick-fil-a, the national fast food chain known for donating millions to anti-LGBTQ foundations and institutions, donated more millions in 2017, according to Think Progress.

Chick-fil-a has long been at the center of a crisis for many a queer consumer in America. In a landscape full of red meat, golden arches, and shame, Chick-fil-a may seem more appealing. Their employees are nice, their bathrooms are cleaner, and, I hate to admit, their chicken sandwiches are pretty good.

But, with every bite, you can’t shake the feeling that your money is going against your long-term interests. You can’t get over the millions of dollars donated to groups that want you, or your loved ones, to not exist. What are we to do? Not eat at Chick-fil-a? But where am I going to get a golden filet of fried chicken on a toasted bun with a pickle?

You’ll need a piece of chicken breast, about a cup of all purpose flour, about two beaten eggs, a cup of bread crumbs, pickles and their brine, and a bun of some sort. Take your chicken breast, slightly larger than your fist, and cut it down the middle almost all the way through, lengthwise, until you can open it like a book. Flatten it between two sheets of plastic wrap, and pound it with something heavy, like a rolling pin or a pan, until it’s about a quarter inch thick. You don’t really need to measure it; just make it thin and big enough for your bun.

Take your flour, eggs, bread crumbs, and some pickle brine, and put each into a separate plate or bowl. Season your flour and bread crumbs with at least salt and pepper, optionally garlic and onion powder, cayenne pepper, and paprika if you like it spicy, and whatever other spices you prefer. Dip your chicken in the pickle brine, then in the flour, then the egg, then the bread crumbs.

Get a shallow pan and fill it with vegetable oil, or peanut oil if you’re fancy. Put it on medium high heat, and let it come up to temperature. If you toss a bread crumb in the oil and it bubbles, you’re ready to fry your chicken. Gently lower your filet into the oil, and let it sit. Don’t touch it until the edges of the filet begin to turn golden brown, and it naturally lifts from the pan, otherwise you’ll break the crust before it gets crispy. Then flip it over and let it sit for about two or three more minutes, until the other side is brown and crispy.

Take it out and let the oil drain onto some paper towels, and put it on a toasted bun with a pickle, or with coleslaw, or some cheese, or whatever you fancy. Enjoy your fried chicken sandwich made without homophobia and transphobia.

Photo courtesy of Wikipedia