Ask the sexpert: How do I stay safe when it comes to anal play?

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a queer, kinky, board certified…

Dear Shanna:

I’m starting to explore anal play, and have not yet bought toys; I’m just enjoying using my fingers. I’ve heard that you can lose things in your butt, so I’m worried about butt plugs and dildos; how can I be safe, but still get to explore my bottom?

– Backdoor Buddy in Boulder

BBB –

Welcome to the amazing world of anal play. I’m so glad you’re taking the time to figure out what turns you on, and more so, that you care about doing it safely!

First of all, make sure you have a good lube, because the anus never lubricates naturally, and insertion without lube can cause small anal tears. Water based or silicone based lube is great. Then, look for a toy (or toys!) that have a flanged base; a base that is wider than the rest of the toy, and acts as a stopper to keep the toys for getting lost in the anus. All strap on compatible dildos are anal friendly because of their base, and most butt plugs have an obvious base as well. I’d suggest starting with a silicone toy, because they are soft, yet also body friendly and sterilizable (keep in mind; silicone lube is NOT compatible with silicone toys). They make dildos, probes, butt beads, butt plugs and more out of silicone. If you like that, but want a harder sensation, consider trying a pyrex or metal butt toy as well. Stay away from plastics and anything with strings, as they have a higher likelihood of breaking or getting lost., and are porous, making them harder to clean.

Lastly, it is important to remember that regardless of gender, some people like anal play and some don’t. Enjoy your explorations, but if you decide that backdoor action doesn’t really get your motor going, that is absolutely ok. Just move on to try another exciting activity. If you do love it, there are tons of fun things you can do with your anus (or other people’s anuses) – just make sure to use lube and only play with toys that have a base.

Have a question you’d like to ask Shanna? Email . Questions are kept anonymous.

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Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a queer, kinky, board certified sexologist, sexuality educator and author. From topics like vaginal fisting to non-monogamy, and oral sex to how sexuality and dis/ability intersect, she talks, writes and teaches about the huge spectrum of sexuality, both from personal and professional perspectives. She’s using her Master’s of Sexuality Education to provide accessible, open-source sex education to people around the country. For more info, please visit her sexuality education site, ShannaKatz.com.