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Respect for Property Rights Negates the Transgender Bathroom Debate

Respect for Property Rights Negates the Transgender Bathroom Debate

Until the Democrats and their liberal-media allies took up their latest “civil rights” cause of “transgender bathrooms,” I, as a proud crossdresser/transvestite, was never afraid of using the ladies’ room. But now that many people with traditional values have been worked into an outrage by yet more heavy-handed government intervention into the private affairs of American citizens and businesses, I fear that I might get assaulted by a Bible-toting suburban housewife condemning me as the spawn of Satan if I were to enter the Walmart restroom that matches the clothes I’m wearing.

Media commentators are frequently preaching about transgender rights regarding bathroom access and other sensitive topics these days, but they seem not to understand the complexity of the transgender community they seek to defend. I have a great deal of personal experience in this matter, as both a crossdresser/transvestite and a freelance writer specializing in sexuality/gender issues. I realize that “crossdresser” and “transvestite” are now considered politically incorrect terms, even though they are much more precise than “transgender” in describing someone with my particular fetish: I’m a heterosexual guy who gets turned on by wearing skirts, pantyhose, and heels. That’s substantially different than a transsexual, who actually wants to be, or considers himself/herself to be, the opposite sex. But neither journalists nor politicians apparently have the time nor mental capacity to consider such distinctions. If you’re a guy in a dress, they want the government to force businesses, schools, churches, and other institutions to let you use the ladies’ room.

And the idea of forcing businesses to do this is the source of all the social upheaval over the ridiculous matter of what room I’m supposed to step into when I have to take a pee or poo. Once the government steps in with me, people are going to get pissed off — because you are stripping away their own personal values, ideas, and freedoms.

Property Rights

I’ve been crossdressing in public for more than six years. I am not “passable.” And I live in, and go out for fun in, a lower middle-class, blue-collar suburban area. Still — contrary to media stereotypes of such communities — I’ve almost always been treated with respect. Why? Because I don’t force myself on other people, and I always show respect for their beliefs.

It comes down to the basic libertarian principle of property rights. He or she who owns the property sets the rules. After I strut my obviously “cross-dressy” stuff into a bar, store, or other establishment and have to use the restroom, I always ask a representative of the establishment which restroom they prefer I use. I try to ask the owner or manager, but if they’re not available, a bartender, bouncer, sales clerk, or other employee will do. And at the scores of establishments I have visited, all but one have told me to use either the ladies’ room or the bathroom of my own choice. Only one club makes me use the men’s room, and I’m cool with that. Honestly, that is probably the restroom I should use, because I’m a man! But when I’m all dressed up, the temptation to use the women’s facilities can be strong because I’m living out my female fantasy.

I’ve encountered a few little problems. In one bar, a woman complained about me using the ladies’ room, but the owner defended me because I had asked her permission first. In another bar, I was in the ladies’ room after having obtained the bartender’s permission, but then some other guy who worked there got upset about it and came knocking on the bathroom door yelling at me to get out or else he would call the cops. So I promptly finished my business and immediately and angrily left the bar. That was the only time I got angered by the situation — because I had been told conflicting things.

A couple bars told me I was not welcome as soon as I walked into the place — we never even got to the subject of restrooms. But I was cool with that, because at least they were up-front with me from the start. And I took my business elsewhere. Diversity of viewpoints. The world should be big enough for us all.

Different Types of Transgender People

Of course, my perspective is that of a transvestite, and it may differ from that of a transsexual, who rightly feels more entitled to use the ladies’ room. I know my non-op transsexual friend Keilany gets very upset when she is told she has to use the men’s room. And I agree that true transsexuals have every right to use the bathroom of their choice — but, as I previously suggested, I don’t think that same right necessarily applies to crossdressers like me. Now, most knowledgeable people will admit that there are a lot more transvestites than transsexuals among so-called transgenders. So who exactly do the enacted or proposed bathroom laws apply to?

In addition, many people are struggling with their gender identity and are simply confused as to what they really are. Until I was in my early 50s (I’m now 56), I used to incorrectly think that I might be transsexual. Should a young child who thinks he or she might be transgender at an age before his or her sexuality has even developed be allowed to use the restroom or shower of the opposite sex — causing confusion and concerns for the rest of the school? I do not think so.

So what should the government do about this complicated and sensitive social issue? Should it pass laws forcing business and schools to adapt bathroom, shower, and dressing room policies that apply equally to fundamentally different types of people, including transvestites and transsexuals and males who, on any given day, might feel like wearing a skirt? Or, alternatively, are we going to start requiring IDs or results of psychological evaluations to use the bathroom, so that the government bathroom police can verify your legal and/or diagnosed gender?

I think both options are undesirable and inappropriate — and silly. The best option remains the individual working things out with the private establishment. And if you don’t like what you are told by that establishment, leave and go somewhere else. You might experience a rare problem once in awhile, but deal with it using your common sense and wisdom. Another option would be to make all bathrooms and showers and dressing rooms everywhere unisexual. Right? No, I don’t think society is ready for that — not as long as most men are men and most women are women.

Think and Act for Yourself

We live in a culture where the public has been conditioned to believe there’s a political and governmental solution to everything. So the Democrats want to force businesses and schools and other establishments to let all M2F transgender people or people who think they’re transgender use the ladies’ room, while Republicans want to force all M2F transgender people, even those who are genuine transsexuals, to use the men’s room.

I say screw both political parties! Do it the libertarian way. Have respect for yourself as an individual, and have respect for the property rights of businesses. Work it out between the two of you in your own way. Don’t force things on people. Let them follow their own values, but maybe you can help encourage those values to move in a certain direction through your own respectful behavior. Then perhaps people will surprise you with their friendliness and acceptance toward you, and you will both learn something valuable about human nature and civil social interaction in the process.

The views expressed in this column do not reflect the opinions of our staff. For the sake of hearing all voices from the community, whether popular or otherwise, we’ve decided to let a libertarian and his version of today run. This is part of his lived experience that he wanted to share with the rest of us.

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