HEINZESIGHT: Where is the Pride in Being Gay?

Hey, Brent.

In this season of many cities having gay pride festivals and parades, I’m left feeling unsure about what exactly I should be feeling proud of. The current generation doesn’t seem to only hang out in gay bars and we can get legally married to each other. There are [fewer] bigots in the public eye and gay people are more accepted than ever before. Do we really need to focus on feeling proud of being gay or can we just move on to live our lives regardless of using our sexual orientation as an aspect of pride?

There are people who struggle with the concept of “gay pride” and how it could be included in their lives. I can also appreciate your perspective that queer people have gained a great deal of acceptance and equality in our culture and are currently experiencing some extremely successful victories. It also seems crucial to determine where we go from here. It’s amazing how inequalities continue to exist in a variety of forms regardless of how far we have come.    

Many feel that being proud of being gay is primarily focused on festivals and parades where dance anthems abound and leather folk walk behind glitter-covered guys in skimpy outfits and everyone cheers as they stroll past a sea of people. These events are a great way to show unity and feel part of a larger community, but this is not the only way to show pride in our sexuality. While this can be fun, think about other important ways of feeling proud of who were are.

Learn about our shared cultural history, realize that it’s taken an extremely long period of activism and fighting to gain what we have, and identify areas we can continue on to improve our future. While I don’t think it’s important to single out all of the injustices and struggles that LGBTQ people continue to experience, it’s crucial that we do not become stagnant or apathetic. Those can cause people to lose focus on ways to continue forward momentum toward a culture that not only tolerates, but values people within our community.

Unfortunately, I was reminded by a number of recent situations happening around the world that the gay community has a long history of dealing with fear, hatred, discrimination, and violence.  This has pushed us to become courageous and strong while taking opportunities to challenge and overcome these adversities.  Although there will most likely always be aspects of these, there will also be the voices, passion, and energy of those to challenge them and strengthen our community. If nothing else, we need to feel pride in our ability to celebrate living the lives we choose.

For those struggling with how to find pride in being gay, it may be beneficial to take a break from their own life to determine some ways they could impact someone else. Although people obviously don’t have to focus on helping out someone queer, it could be a beneficial way to connect with an aspect of gay culture that isn’t a pride festival. Take pride in supporting someone by offering compassion and friendship.