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HEINZESIGHT: Look Up & Look Out

HEINZESIGHT: Look Up & Look Out

We can be so unaware at times. Going about our daily business while rushing from one activity to the next has made most of us somewhat blind to our surroundings. For most of us, it isn’t about appreciating the beautiful new building being constructed or the great sculpture that was recently added in your favorite park. We can be more focused on replying to messages or looking at a digital map than looking around us. One of the most concerning aspects of our evolving society is that we may be missing out on some potentially wonderful interpersonal exchanges simply because we are not looking around. Some amazing people may simply pass us by because we are blissfully unaware.

Think about how many possible connections with others are missed when we are not paying attention. In our culture, we spend an exorbitant amount of time looking at our computers and phones, even when we are socializing or walking down the street. We often aren’t looking at people and situations directly in front of us. We are focused in on the virtual world, not the real world. Living in such a technology-rich time with the ability to constantly be in contact with information and people, sometimes we forget that there are more enriching ways to interact with others. Changing focus from our phones or computers may actually benefit us more in particular moments.

It’s not just that our cyber-based engagements hinder us from meeting people. So many of us struggle with meeting people for a variety of reasons. Most of us have a life full of tasks, interests, and challenges that occupy much of our time and mental capacity. Although engaging these is ultimately important in building our lives, it also can be a huge barrier in getting to know others. It often seems like we are incapable of getting what we want socially using the methods we most often use. It doesn’t matter if online chats seem to go nowhere or interactions in public places are difficult. Connecting with others can be rough. Not only do we have to face our difficulties with having free time, good self-esteem, and the finances to do what we want to do, but we also need to add in the variables that the other person experiences. There are times when we lose focus or get frustrated. It can feel amazing that any of us ever meet up to do anything.

Think about what it will take to encourage us to start looking up from whatever occupies us so we can start looking out for more of those things that may thrill us. We all have a lot to do, but make time to potentially engage with a new person or opportunity. Some of us have gotten so used to feeling overwhelmed or distracted by using our phones or computers to reach out to others that this suggestion may seem unrealistic. It can be somewhat scary to return to an environment where we engage with others in real-time without the comfort of a “block” button or time to compose the perfect response to a message. There are many reasons why we don’t participate in activities with other people, but these may also be the primary cause of our feeling lonely or disengaged from others.

Take the time to figure out what is stopping you from engaging with other people. Consider fears and insecurities about chatting with others. If you’re too busy to make time to spend with someone great, you may want to re-evaluate your priorities or schedule. Face-to-face interactions may be uncomfortable or take time, but you don’t have to continue to use technology as an intermediary. Get to know people. When you’re at the gym, scan around. There may be some eye candy or an old buddy you haven’t seen in awhile. Look up, look out, and woof at someone.

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