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This is what QUEER MARRIAGE looks like: Cyndi Adams and Danielle Jordan

This is what QUEER MARRIAGE looks like: Cyndi Adams and Danielle Jordan

Civil unions in Colorado mean that LGBT relationships are more out in the open than ever before, but we were getting “married” in the eyes of each other and our communities long before the state recognized same-sex relationships. Out Front will highlight a series of LGBT couples who have jumped the broom, tied the knot, got hitched or took the plunge – Danielle Jordan and her wife Cyndi Adams tell us their story first.

Robyn Vie-Carpenter: Let’s start with how you met.

Danielle Jordan: There was a website at one time called connexion.org

RVC: I didn’t know women were on that site!

DJ: I know – we were the only two [laughs]. I saw Cyndi’s profile and it was very positive. So I asked her to connect with me. We emailed back and forth a couple of times and decided to meet.

Cyndi Adams: We had dinner, four dates, fell in love and got married.

RVC: How did it come together?

CA: We dated for about a year. Then we moved in together for another year. Then we decided to commit and be a family.

RVC: Who proposed?

CA: I asked Danielle. We went to Illinois to meet with her family – family is very important to us. I made T-shirts for each member of her family to wear. One said “Will,” another said “you,” another “marry” and finally “me.” I had them all walk out in a row, then presented her with the ring.

RVC: Did you cry?

CA: I cried.

DJ: I’m not really a crier. It was a very sweet moment and I had most of my favorite people there; my best friend showed up later and I got to share the news with him in person. It was a really great day.

RVC: Who planned the wedding?

DJ: Cyndi did the planning.

CA: It was a joint effort. We wanted a ceremony because we both believe it’s very important to mark the major events in your life, and to make an announcement to the world and share with our family. We got the minister from our church to do it. We found our favorite French restaurant had an extra room for events, and rented a dance floor and hung up some crystal balls and twinkle lights.

RVC: What was the ceremony like?

CA: It was a pretty regular ceremony. We both wore white dresses and walked in with our attendants and our parents. The minister said a prayer and we exchanged rings –

DJ: (interrupts) – Vows –

CA: Yes vows, kissed each other, and then had a party. We danced all night long.

DJ: We walked down two separate aisles, Cyndi with her parents and I was walked down with my parents.

RVC: Was anyone in your families opposed to your marriage?

CA: No. We are blessed. I have been in two other lesbian weddings; at one, one side of the family didn’t show up. It was very sad. Both of our families showed up and were very supportive.

RVC: Does being married feel different?

DJ: As soon as we left the party, it was like, wow this feels new. Binding ourselves in that ceremony, recognized by our family and friends. It was honestly and truly a marriage.

CA: It’s like, this is it. This is not just “somebody that I’m exclusive with,” this is us. We are completely one together. It does feel very different.

RVC: Do you think that if “gay marriage” was legal we’d be more committed as a community?

CA: I don’t think so. The heart knows what it wants. Yet as long as we don’t have marriage [equality] – not civil unions but marriage – then we’re [seen as] different. I want the rest of the world to understand we are a married couple.

RVC: Since your ceremony wasn’t technically legal and binding, have you done a lot of legal work to make it such?

CA: Still some things to do, but yes we started.

DJ: We found out through the process there’s always a next thing. It’s very important for people to understand that even with civil unions there is so much more that gay or non-traditional couples need to do legally to have rights. We have quite a few steps to go, estate planning, talking to attorneys, that’s all part of the process.

RVC: If civil unions were completely equal to marriage as far as the law was concerned, but still called civil unions, would you be OK with that?

CA & DJ: [Simultaneously] No!

CA: Because this is not to say that we haven’t decided that we’re going to support the movement forward by getting civil unioned. We will.

DJ: Yeah, we will.

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