Mastering Masturbation
What if I made the outrageous claim that you can lose weight, be less depressed and/or anxious, and make your sex life better all in the space of 5–30 minutes a day? Sound like a late night infomercial? Would you pay $19.95 to hear the secrets of the universe? No need! I am here to give away this perspective-shattering information and increase your happiness without even signing a contract. All you have to do to make your life better is touch yourself. Repeatedly.
What?! How could it be that simple? Thanks to evolution, sex is fun. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t want to do it, and suddenly, the human race is no longer part of this ecosystem. Sex is an essential part of our human experience and necessary for our bodies to function properly. The great news is we don’t need another person to drink from this fountain of health. We are completely equipped with everything we need. When the time comes, and we want to involve others in our sexual play, masturbation, when done correctly, can enhance an already mind-blowing experience.
Many of us were taught from an early age that any form of self-pleasuring was not only immoral but could actually cause us physical harm. Thanks in part to the Victorians, multiple generations have feared going cross-eyed or growing hair on their palms. The accepted belief was masturbation was the cause of most physical and mental ailments, and if we could eradicate it from our society, the Garden of Eden would be within our grasp again. However, even the early scientists and psychologists had a different conclusion. They quickly found orgasms relieved symptoms of anxiety, especially in women, which lead to the invention of the vibrator to solve the issue doctors were facing of getting hand cramps after repeatedly manually stimulating women to cure their hysteria (now THAT’S a doctor’s appointment I want to make!). After that discovery, it made sense that women could perform their own treatment at home, thanks to their purchase from the Sears catalog (making women happy since 1918).
As science progressed, our understanding of how beneficial masturbation is continued to grow. Self-pleasuring is found to be associated with lower levels of anxiety, depression, blood pressure, heart disease, sexual dysfunction, and according to a 2003 Australian study, lower instances of prostate cancer. Wonderful! But will it insidiously destroy my relationship? The remarkable news is it actually seems to increase communication between partners and, for women, increase their orgasmic response. Basically, if you know how your body works, you are better able to help someone else navigate your delicate systems. Additionally, the more your body experiences orgasms, the easier it is for orgasms to occur.
Are there instances where masturbation can be harmful? Like all enjoyable experiences, too much of a good thing often has consequences. There are some things to keep in mind. One of the biggest pitfalls of masturbation is we can get ourselves into a rut. If you masturbate the same way every time, you are training your body to only experience orgasms in that position or setting. This is easy to avoid! Simply change things up. If you usually lay down, try it in the shower. If you always use your right hand, it’s time to let lefty have a go at it. The more variance you can put into your routine, the better your body will react in novel situations (like a new partner or in a location you are unfamiliar with, like a car or hotel room). Your best tools for health are within you! Use them with pride!
Coming Up Next Issue: What about addiction to masturbation? Next time we will explore the possible pitfalls of pornography and excessive masturbation.
Fawn Oates has been lecturing on topics of sexuality at the college level for 15 years. She is currently a professor at Red Rocks Community College and teaches a variety of classes including the Psychology of Gender, Human Sexuality, and the Psychology of Transgenderism.
