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Where have the Sluts been?

•Mae d’Mistake: Well, after the alien abduction and probing, the sluts [information redacted].

•Winnie Bego: Personally, for me, I have been on a long,extended stay at the Betty Ford Clinic.

•Jack-Lynn Hyde: What do you mean? Where have you been? What did you hear?

•Zoey Diddim: Drinking. Lots of drinking.

•Kay Hausensues: The free clinic. They were so nice there.

•Cookie Fortuna: We are here and there and everywhere… Muah hahahahahahaha!

•Cherri Chola: I moved from the alley near M Uptown to the dumpster behind Dulce Vida.

What events can we see you at this year?

•Mae d’Mistake: Bingo at Dulce Vida, Cherri will be performing behind the dumpster.

•Winnie Bego: Please join us each month for our charity of the month and support local organizations.

•Jack-Lynn Hyde: All the same things you saw us at last year, unless you want a private show. Email or text us; we can do private shows!

•Zoey Diddim: Our monthly bingo, but also supporting other organizations helping the community.

•Kay Hausensues: Pride!

•Cookie Fortuna: Come play with us at our monthly bingo game, but we will also be at PrideFest. Look for our bike rally, too, in July.

•Cherri Chola: All you have to do is follow the glitter trails or our website. We make stalking easy.

I noticed that the ladies in the group have mustaches. Why is that, and do they offer mustache rides?

•Mae d’Mistake: Wait… you found ladies? Where???

•Winnie Bego: Where else would we add the glitter? Oh wait, I do always glitter my nether-regions.

•Jack-Lynn Hyde: …and beard rides and eyebrow rides and muff rides, rides for everybody, rides all around!

•Zoey Diddim: TEE HEE HEE, you said Ladies!!!

•Kay Hausensues: I don’t have a mustache. Was someone offering mustache rides? I want one.

•Cookie Fortuna: There ain’t no ladies here. Nothing to see here.

•Cherri Chola: There are no ladies, but we do like giving rides of any kind… as long as you make a charity donation.

What essentials should a slut always carry in her purse?

•Mae d’Mistake: Phone charger, glitter, skeleton key, ouija board, gum, and list of names of people who have wronged me and should be punished. You know, the usual.

•Winnie Bego: 1. Extra Glitter, 2. English Brand Poppers, 3. A fan, 4. Pig Sweat Poppers.

•Jack-Lynn Hyde: Well I always carry lube, and condoms, yeah.

•Zoey Diddim: Lipstick, cash, and lube. One must be ready for anything that may pop up!

•Kay Hausensues: Eyelash glue, glitter, condoms, and a lipstick vibe.

•Cookie Fortuna: Everything but the kitchen sink. That damn thing is too heavy to carry.

•Cherri Chola: Extra balloons for boobs, bottle of Iron Horse, flogger, rope, and cell phone.