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Not everyone in love on Valentine’s Day is in a monogamous relationship. It can be challenging trying to find the time to spend with one partner, let alone two, but everyone deserves to feel appreciated on this special day. So, here are some great tips on how to do the Hallmark holiday when you have a not-so-traditional relationship.

Allocate your time.

If you have multiple partners to split your time with, consider separate dates, but use your time wisely. Plan to celebrate on the actual holiday, but spend the morning or day with one partner, then agree to an evening date with the other partner. This will also give your day some variety. You can choose a low-key date day with breakfast in bed or a quant, park picnic with one partner. Then, opt for a celebratory, fun date night with your other partner, perhaps a night out on the town! Check out a local night spot for drinks or have a romantic, intimate dinner at that new restaurant you have had your eye on!

Group Date

If it makes sense for your relationship, consider a group date with all your partners. This can be a more platonic option and an opportunity to build friendships between folks. Try a fun activity, maybe a paint-and-wine night at a local spot or a night of dinner and karaoke to really get the laughs going. You could also opt for a concert or get dressed up for a night of sweaty dancing.

Stay in

If going out isn’t an option for you, stay in! Not only is this cost effective, you don’t even have to get out of your pajamas. If you have multiple partners and cannot facilitate something at one house, spend the morning in your sweats and t-shirt and invite one partner over for a home cooked-brunch and mimosas. Later, you can head over to your other partner’s place and have a chill movie night with popcorn, candy, and lots of snuggles or even try out a new dinner recipe.  Cooking together is a definite way to bond.

Do nothing on actual Valentine’s Day

Choose alternate days to spend with your partners. This way, each person gets the time and consideration they want. If you are full of love and just have either too many partners to accommodate on one day or are a firm believer in complete equality, then do nothing! Who says you HAVE to do something on Valentine’s Day? That’s right—choose to skip the holiday altogether. Or, if you still want to celebrate but can’t on the actual day, that’s OK, too. You can always choose other days to celebrate, or other occasions.  Maybe The day before you spend time with a partner, actual V-Day, you pamper yourself instead, then the next day, you see your other partner.  This way, everyone gets a solid amount of time to spend with you, and there will be no hard feelings about who gets the “actual holiday” versus an alternate day.

Gifts or No Gifts?

This is a tough one. Some of us are big into gift giving and some of us not so much. This is something I believe must be settled between you and each partner. There is no one-size-fits-all answer for this. There is so much to consider, including the cost, the point in your relationship, and agreements about gift giving.

So, the best suggestion is to have this discussion with each of your partners. If you agree to give gifts, great. It could also be a good idea to set a budget, especially if it’s a new relationship.