I’m really trying to turn around negativity in my life. But, the struggle to become a more positive person has been extremely challenging. I feel my life has been more difficult than most people’s, but I’ve been told that my unhappiness is very apparent when I interact with people and it makes them not want to be in my life. I’m tired of feeling badly about myself, and I want to start having more happiness and good people around me. I’m tired of not having friends and feeling alone. How do I make this process happen quickly?
Changing anything in our lives takes a strong desire, good planning, practice, and perseverance. We are all creatures of habit and get used to the way things happen in our lives. Every day, we expect some type of consistency that carries us from one day to the next. Even if we are not super happy, we end up developing a certain level of comfort in that we know what to expect from the world around us.
It can be difficult to see how our lives can be different, but we may still desire improvements. Changing how we do something or modifying our thought processes tests us to break out of what we expect to happen to us. When these patterns are challenged, we may feel uncomfortable, frustrated, or wish that the process was easier or happened more quickly.
Although there is not a magic formula to make our efforts effortless, here are some suggestions of things to keep in mind that may help to make the process a little less painful.
This transition can start before you even get out of bed.Your first thought as you’re regaining consciousness needs to be about how today has the potential to be a good day. It’s really hard to work on putting yourself in a positive mindset when you feel that your day will be just as depressingly craptastic as the day before.
Start working on changing the way you see possibilities in your life. It may seem a little like Suzie Sunshine, but consider that your day can be full of great potential, friendly people, and opportunities to do things that progress your life forward. Maybe you will have a great conversation or someone sweet will smile at you.
There are times when small things may happen to us throughout the day that could put us in a better mood or remind us that there are positive elements to our lives. Having the belief that you are open to good things happening to you at least sets you up to be more aware when faced with life’s potentials. Otherwise you may pass someone or something by that could be a wonderful addition to your life.
Start your day by making your bed, feeling good about the water hitting your skin as you take a shower, and enjoying what you’re consuming for breakfast. These types of tasks help to make you more aware of your surroundings and begin your day with a sense of accomplishment and pleasure in what you are doing. They can support changing a negative thought pattern about how you don’t want to get up or go to work into a more positive way of thinking about how you feel ready to get on with a great day.
If our current political turmoil causes anxiety and frustration, don’t read or watch it first thing in the morning. You can save that drama for later. Decide what things can make you smile or focus on something enjoyable. Pick up a book, watch a cartoon, or get a little exercise.
Throughout your day, look for opportunities to be pleasant to somebody else or do something that could spread a little joy. This can help you continue acting in more optimistic ways and change the way you think about the possibilities for improvements in your life. How we think impacts how we feel. If your thoughts are negative, it may cause you to feel grumpy inside.
Chances are that you will then find some way to project these feelings to other people around you. Those kinds of emotions often radiate out from us and others can generally pick up on them, most often causing them to avoid contact with you or run away.
Think about how you can possibly engage with someone in a nice way. Make eye contact with somebody at grocery store and give them a grin. Say good morning to somebody at work. Send a thoughtful text message to somebody that you haven’t talked to in a while, but you miss. Think about how you may want to work on getting your emotions to be more supportive of creating a happy life. Small changes are still good changes.
Throughout your day, make some effort and try to catch yourself thinking about negative things. It’s incredible how we can get accustomed to being cranky or critical about ourselves, others, or our surroundings. For those who seem to have a perpetual negative cloud looming overhead, their days may be filled with many potential pitfalls, villains, and things ready to pounce and ruin their day further. They are also much more likely to allow challenging situations to affect them badly. If you work to identify and change your negative thoughts regarding a variety of situations, then you are less likely to be overtaken by them.
As it gets closer to bedtime, take some time and reflect on some of the positive changes you’ve worked to incorporate into your life. Consider that you may have brightened up somebody else’s day. Focus on your desire to wake up the next morning with more of a positive outlook on your life and potential to bring in just a little more happiness into the next day. Remind yourself that none of us were born grumpy.
Throughout our lives, we may have experienced multiple situations and people that have left us feeling crappy about the world around us. Focusing on taking your happiness back from these negative situations allows us to feel more confident in our ability to have better lives. At times, this mountain of negativity may appear insurmountable, but it’s not. The journey may take a while, but you can keep moving forward. Just keep climbing.