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We’ve all got resolutions: lose weight, go to the gym more, hang out with friends more, take work more seriously. And in all honesty, we realize that we may not be able to keep all of them, or any of them, for that matter. But as a community, shouldn’t we also be making resolutions? Here are a few things that we, as queer people, can resolve to do to make 2019 a better year.

Stand up for trans people.
It’s obvious that our trans fam need our help more than ever now. They are being attacked from every side, forced out of the military, out of bathrooms they feel comfortable in, and may even be forced not to identify officially as the gender they are. They need help, and if you’re queer, it’s not enough to simply not be prejudiced against them and accept them for who they are. Trans people need to be treated as people when it comes to dating, friendships, and their rights, and we need to fight for their rights just as much as we fought for same-gender marriage.

Realize once and for all that being non-binary, bi, pan, or poly is a thing.
Not everyone in the community neatly fits in to the boxes of gay, lesbian, or a trans man or woman. Some people don’t identify with a gender, and others are bisexual or pansexual. These are valid identities. Being non-binary does not take away from the struggle of binary trans identity, and being bi doesn’t negate the legitimacy of gay or lesbian identity. Let’s truly embrace all our queer fam this year, not just the ones who are easy to classify. Also, let’s stop treating poly or non-monogamous people as though they are violating some code and letting down those who fought for gay marriage. Being ethically non-monogamous is completely valid as long as no one is getting hurt.

Vote and get involved in politics.
We realize that certain things prevent folks from voting or getting involved in politics, like ability, race, and class privilege. But if you at all have the privilege to get involved, whether that means voting, signing a petition, or speaking at a town hall, even running for office, please do. We may not agree with the powers that be, or even how the government is structured, but even a little bit of involvement can tip the scales.

Stop wasting time on infighting.
We’ve all seen it: the Facebook threads that just go on and on over the tiniest little argument. Yes, micro-aggressions matter, and we need to pay attention to how we say things. But is it really more important to roast someone over the fact that their post neglected one key element or glossed something over instead of making a friend and ally?

At the same time, oust the haters.
That being said, there is a time and place where and when we DO need to get tough. The queer community is under threat, and there simply isn’t time to shelter queer folks who don’t agree with trans rights, think bi people need to “pick a side,” or who are racist or bigoted in any other way. There’s no room for it.

Care about people besides just queer people.
Also, there isn’t room for people who only think the queer struggle is important. People of color, differently abled people, immigrants, and plenty of other groups need our support and are under threat. If you are going to be an activist for queer rights, you also need to consider other groups that need support.

Stop making people disclose identities.
Being proud and supporting of queer identities is essential, but that doesn’t mean everyone has to disclose how they identify. If someone wants to share pronouns, identify as queer, or share an even more specific identity, great, let’s support them, but let’s not force it. Some people aren’t ready to share who they are, or don’t feel it necessary in every situation.

Use the right pronouns.
If someone does choose to share their pronouns, however, be sure to respect them. It can be tough to get used to referring to people as “ze” or “they” if those aren’t the pronouns you are used to, but a little bit of practicing, and a sincere apology if you do slip up at first, goes a long way. The same goes for getting used to “he” and “she” pronouns for someone you may have known previously by another pronoun.

Appreciate our allies.
No, we don’t need a “straight pride day,” but appreciate those who stand with the queer community. If we all stand together, we can seriously fight back against those who attack our rights. Also, don’t assume someone isn’t a member of the community just because of how they present.

Realize all drag, and identities, are valid.
Gone are the days when drag means a man in a dress, or when we have to apologize for not identifying the way we are expected to. All identities, no matter what they are, are valid, so stop trying to put people in boxes and concentrate on unity!