Oscars Sooooo Queer

My name is Rick Kitzman, and I’m an Oscar-holic.

The 1962 Academy Awards ceremony is the first I remember. I was upset because my favorite film, The Absent-Minded Professor, a black and white Disney comedy—and the greatest movie ever!—lost its three nominations. I beat my tiny little fists on my tiny little chest, and in my little boy squeak beseeched the heavens, “Why, oh why! Robbed! Rigged!” I was nine years old, and hooked on the Oscars.

Fifty-six years later, on the morning of January 23 at 5:30 a.m. I was whacking my alarm clock to rise and watch the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announce this year’s nominations. Its 90th anniversary! Live! I was jacked! My partner grumbled and rolled over.

Call Me By Your Name is up for Best Picture, yes! Timothy Chalemet is also nominated for Best Actor for his spectacular performance in the same movie, yes! What? But, his co-star Armie Hammer, who is both gorgeous and an equally great actor, isn’t nominated ? “Why, oh why! Robbed! Rigged!”

Call Me By Your Name—a sweet, gay love story set in 80s Italy—could walk away from the 90th Academy Awards with four wins. Because it’s my favorite, it’ll receive the kiss of death. It’ll win zip. The film’s original song, “Mystery of Love,” will be snubbed, and James Ivory will remain in his seat when they announce the winner for Best Writing Adapted Screenplay. But, who cares?

The perennial debate over the Oscar’s relevancy will never dissuade me from my love for the extravaganza. Critics argue this decadent rite of self-congratulatory narcissism is useless. And they’re right. But so is the Super Bowl. GASP! No, I’m not a Russian commie. (If I was, I’d be invited to watch the Oscars at the White House.) I’m just a gay man who, as a little boy finding his place in the world, found something he loved.

Oscar’s glamour, stars, and the thrill of film informed the mind of this “different” kid. Stuck in Podunk, Colorado, the philistines didn’t understand him. Lonely with amorphous feelings, I began inventing my burgeoning aesthetic: concepts of style, the ambiguity of beauty, the power of story. Of course, I didn’t know this at nine years old; I wasn’t that precocious. But Oscar—and gay life—beckoned.

The Academy, and the entire movie industry, have been historically homophobic—ironically giving a statue of a naked man as an award. Times have changed. To LGBTQs who feel the Oscars are irrelevant, consider our family members nominated this year.

Out of 24 categories, 11 individuals compete for seven Oscars, with a queer-themed film up for Best Picture. I’d say that’s relevant news for our community and cause for celebrating their artistic achievements .

What to expect at this year’s ceremony besides blather and boring speeches? I wish Melissa McCarthy and Ricky Gervais were hosting, but Oscar still may have surprises up his sleeve. (Never mind, he’s naked.)

With the #MeToo movement and Hollywood’s Time’s Up nascent organization, sexual abuse is bound to be Dumbo’s mother in the auditorium, the affect already felt. Last year’s Best Actor, Casey Affleck, under siege for his own alleged sexual abuse, will not present the Best Actress award, an Oscar tradition.

My annual meeting of Oscar-holics Anonymous is Sunday, March 4. At some point, I’ll probably cry, “Robbed! Rigged!” But my Golden P*ssy, our award, will be shined and displayed, ballots printed, popcorn popped. Hopefully, Wikipedia will have to update their page with queer wins. Regardless, this Oscar-holic’s gotta get his fix.

2017 LGBTQ Nominations

Best Picture

Phantom Thread and Lady Bird both have one queer producer nominated, while Call Me By Your Name has two.

Best Animated Feature

Darla K. Anderson is the first LGBTQ female to be nominated in this category for her work on Coco.

Best Adapted Screenplay

James Ivory (loving partner of Ishamil Merchant for 44 years) is nominated for Call Me By Your Name. He is nominated next to powerhouse Dee Rees, Mudbound. Rees is the first black woman, and first LGBTQ woman,  nominated for either Adapted or Original screenplay.

Best Cinematography

Rachel Morrison, who worked alongside Rees on Mudbound, is the first woman ever nominated in this category, also making her the first LGBTQ woman.

Best Song

Benj Pasek is nominated for the song he and Justin Paul worked on for the The Greatest Showman, “This Is Me.” He also snagged the title last year for his song in La La Land.

Best Film Editing

Tatiana S. Riegel, I, Tonya, is the first LGBTQ woman nominated in this category.

Best Documentary Feature

Yance Ford is the first openly transgender man nominated for an Oscar. His work is nominated alongside Joslyn Barnes on Strong Island, a documentary about the murder of Ford’s brother in 1992.