Engagedly Curious: Creating Queer-Wed Bliss

When couples are preparing to tie-the-knot, making a day that is memorable is the ultimate goal. However, for many queer couples, that often means memories of frustrations and rejection.

The stress of planning a wedding is extreme, and for LGBTQ couples, it can be significantly magnified because they are queer. With notorious businesses regularly making headlines for their practice in denying same-gender, trans, and nonbinary people the right to a day of celebration with friends and family, the union of matrimony can carry a black cloud of fear and trepidation.

Enter one event company that is doing things intentionally different.

“When I started my career as a professional actor, I, as so many artists do, did a lot of catering gigs and recognized very quickly that vendors are the heart of every event,” Courtney Hayes-Jurcheck said. As the founder of Day-Of Weddings + Events, she began to notice that some couples were experiencing very different treatment during the planning of their special day.

“I was watching my LGBTQ+ artist friends deal with discrimination at every turn, and I just knew instinctively that I wanted to create events that celebrated and uplifted all love stories,” she said.

When Hayes-Jurcheck founded The Day-Of Weddings + Events in 2017, she assumed she wasn’t alone in her mission of creating an inclusive experience for all kinds of couples. Unfortunately, she was mistaken.

“As I took a deep look into the industry, I immediately noticed how binarily gendered the whole wedding process is,” she said. With this massive void evident, Hayes-Jurcheck took charge and created an “engagement happy hour,” a night where she could meet all types of couples and introduce them to her chosen tribe of inclusive vendors. “I wanted to help them navigate the wedding process on their terms.”

“As a passionate advocate for equal rights, I want all couples to feel included, welcomed, and celebrated with the same rights, responsibilities, and reasonable expectation for accommodation for their wedding,” said Rita Rollman, director of Grant-Humphrey’s Mansion.

When Rollman began at Grant-Humphrey’s Mansion in 2015, she was surprised at how many couples would ask if the space was accommodating to queer couples, and if they were in fact allowed to get married there.

“These questions made me sad and upset. My response to these couples was, ‘Of course, why wouldn’t you be allowed to get married here!?’ To me, this shouldn’t even be a question, and it’s been my mission at Grant-Humphreys to try and eliminate it,” she said.

Calling their joint tribe members, Rollman and Hayes-Jurcheck have now combined forces to create an LGBTQ wedding event unlike any other. Pride & Unprejudice, June 13 from 6 p.m. – 9 p.m., is a space where all engaged or engaged-curious couples can peruse queer-friendly vendors and venue options.

“I never imagined as a lesbian that I would be able to plan my wedding without the anxiety that it might not be possible at certain locations or with certain vendors,” Danielle Starr said. She and her partner Ayen attended a previous Pride & Unprejudice event, and it helped them realize that there are vendors who are in fact welcoming and inclusive.

“We are forever grateful to those individuals and businesses supporting our union and laying to rest the constant anxiety members of our community face daily, especially on a day that should be nothing but bliss. We are so grateful for everyone who worked on making our wedding the nuptials of our dreams,” Starr said.

Attendees of the June 13 event can expect complimentary specialty drinks and beverages from Mile High Spirits and Colorado Cider Company, appetizers and dessert samples from Three Tomatoes Catering and Valhalla Cakes, a free mini-engagement session with photographer Loria Carnefix, music from Dancin’ Shoes DJ, and special entertainment and performances throughout the evening.

Navigating through the complex maze of venues, photographers, florists, and caterers will be a little easier for queer folks now. For both Rollman and Hayes-Jurcheck, the evening is truly about creating an experience that will nurture the uniqueness and acceptance of their love. That concept is as necessary as it is radical, and couples can take a sigh of relief that they will be able to create a team that is fully on their side.

“Until the LGBTQ community has true equality,” Rollman said. “Until that question is gone, I will strive to keep Grant-Humphreys a safe, inclusive and accepting venue for all.”

Check out the Pride & Unprejudice website to RSVP and for more information.

Photos of Danielle and Ayen Starr by Sabrina Pizzuti Johnson