Embracing Love Through Music: A Horse with a Horn

A Horse with a Horn, the self-proclaimed queerdo artist whose name makes reference to being called a gay unicorn in his teens, recently released the music video for his song “Right in My Face,” the second single from his debut album Mindless.

Written and produced by the artist, the electoclash-pop track is similar in theme to the other eight songs on the album, most of which deal with trying to figure out love and life as a young, queer individual. A Horse with a Horn was born Derek Wanker and grew up in conservative Oklahoma.

Walking a different path through adolescence from that of his peers, the “Right in My Face” music videos brings A Horse with a Horn’s chaotic past to life. The song and the album are all about embracing love through the good times and bad, facing demons, and figuring out emotions. OUT FRONT had the opportunity to talk more with A Horse with a Horn about the song and album, in addition to his passion for music and surviving personal trauma.

Hi, Derek! Thank you so much for chatting with me. Can you begin by telling us more about the meaning behind your name, A Horse with a Horn?
It kind of has two meanings. It originated from when I was younger and just a weirdo little gay. My friends always called me a unicorn gay because I didn’t like pop music, and I didn’t like all the stuff I was supposed to like, I guess, ass a young, gay guy. I also have a birth defect that causes my sternum to grow to a point, so it’s kind of like a play on that, even though obviously that’s not a horn. People just call it my little chest horn. So, it became a thing, and I hated it growing up, and I always wanted to get it fixed. I finally started to embrace it. Like, whatever, this is going to become my identity now.

Congrats on releasing the music video for “Right in My Face.” How has it been received by viewers?
It’s been good. I honestly haven’t had as much viewership as I did on my last video. I didn’t really get as much media exposure as I did last time, so far. Otherwise, it’s been good. People have enjoyed the meaning behind it and the quality. My last video was a little bit more sexual, so there were mixed reviews. A lot of younger, gay men really enjoyed it, but a lot of older, gay mean thought it was a little too much, and in L.A., that was kind of the point. I had people licking people’s armpits and such.

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Can you tell us more about the concept behind the video? I read that it dives deeper into the mental state of those who choose to remain blind to the inevitable.
Yes. It is also kind of an extension of my first video, because in my first video, it was kind of like accepting your inner sexuality. It started out as, like, this bubblegum pink and ended in this dark, kind of bondage, goth scene, and everyone becoming that darker side.

So, this video is just an extension of that. It’s like taking this darker side of you, not in a bad way, but just the things people like to hide, like their sexuality or things that the rest of the world pretends they don’t have inside of them, and succumbing to that. So, the idea of this cute, normal boy in all white being chases down by these sexual, deviant, witchy folk and succumbing to that. The overall idea is succumbing to like your inner desires and pleasures.

Why did you want to write a song like “Right in My Face,” and what do you hope people gain from it?
The song was about the first boy I pseudo-dated in L.A. when I moved here five-and-a-half years ago. We were hitting it off so hard and spending every single day together for three months; then, all of a sudden, he was like yeah, I don’t want to do this. I just want to be friends. Looking back a couple months later, I realizing that I kind of saw all that coming, and I just ignored it. So, “Right in My Face” is about ignoring these signs because you want to, even though you know they’re right there. Then, once it’s all done, you realize that you are okay, that you learn something from that, and you grow from this experience.

“Right in My Face” is a song from your album Mindless, and the entirety of the album focuses on embracing love through the good and bad times. You experienced a lot of trauma throughout your childhood, like growing up in conservative Oklahoma, overdosing on drugs, alcohol poisoning and sexual abuse. Was music an out to help you cope through these difficult times?
Yes, absolutely. I started making music with different bands when I was like 12 years old and throughout junior high and high school. It was always a way for me to get out what I needed to and to find ways to feel better about myself. Even, like, outside of making music, music has always been a huge part of my life. I can’t do anything solo. If I am by myself, I can’t be anywhere without my headphones. I need music. That has always been a very important part of my life, and it definitely gave me a way to resolve the issues within myself when I was going through them.

When did you discover that music was truly your passion and this was the career you wanted to pursue?
Honestly, when I was a kid. I was in talent shows and singing since I was like 6 or 7. It’s just what I love to do. I love to perform. So, I have always been closely bound to music. Then, when I got old enough to realize I could make music, I never really played an instrument, but I was always the frontman of the bands I was in.

I guess I have always known, and then I finally started making music with other people. Then, once I realized it’s complicated because getting everyone to be on the same page and have the same time availability was difficult, I decided I wanted to make my own music. I always loved electronic music since I started listening to Fischerspooner and Peaches and all that back in 2002 when I was, like, 13 years old.

Is electronic music the kind of style you tend to gravitate towards?
Absolutely. Electro pop and electro class, it’s something that still has a standard when it comes to vocals and lyrics. I definitely still like the style of pop music; I just don’t listen to, like, radio pop music.

What more would you like to accomplish with your platform as an LGBTQ musical artist?
I want to be able to be heard. I don’t ever expect myself to be something big; I just want to be able to make music and share the thoughts I have. I make sure to reference boys and men in my songs instead of trying to make it more gender-neutral just because I want to be able to say that, and people still get something from it even if they’re not LGBTQ. You can hear that and be like, ‘Oh, this is still a mainstream-sounding song.’ I don’t want to be pigeonholed into somewhere, like, say, Cazwell, where he is like overtly, sexually gay and explicit that way, but I still want to be very gay in the stories of my music.

What advice would you give to those who have dealt with or are currently dealing with the kind of trauma you experienced in your life?
I would say the best advice is talk to people. Share what you are going through with people because you will learn quickly that other people are experiencing that too and are scared to talk about it. The more support you have, the easier it is to get through it, and also being able to support someone else that may be going through it helps you too because it teaches you ways to cope with it that you may not have realized until you are giving that advice to someone else.

Do you believe the trauma you experienced helped shape you into the person that you are today?
Oh, 100 percent. It sucks, and it’s awful, but it also made me be a more caring and understanding person. It put me through hardships that maybe not everyone has, but it helps me understand people going through hardships when maybe I could have had just an easier life and not experienced that and wouldn’t be able to connect on those levels. It made me have to teach myself a lot of lessons. I f*cked up a lot of things in my life. I made a lot of really bad decisions because I was going through so much inner turmoil, but it helped me figure out how to fix the problems I had created or the problems that other people have created for me.

What’s next for you? Any other projects we should be on the lookout for?
I have a handful of songs that I am working on for an EP. It may become longer and be a full-length album, kind of figuring that out. I was working on more things until the world shut down, so I need to figure all of that out for a bit, but there are definitely songs that are written and finished. They just need to be sent off to be mixed and mastered. Hopefully, I will put something out in the near future.

To stay in the know, follow A Horse with a Horn on social media.