Local Meetup Offers Bisexuals a Sense of Community in Denver

Sitting around a jumble of tables mashed together in a perfect equal sign, more than a dozen people congregated into small groups and flipped through booklets of board games. A librarian silently pulled out her banana shaped bag of scrabble letters. A programmer stirred his cup of tea while chatting with a retired navy veteran about Cards Against Humanity. A forensic chemist slowly inhaled vapor through a hookah decorated with dragons, while a metallurgist excitedly pointed out board games from his childhood.

This loud, eccentric group of people doesn’t have a lot in common except for one thing—they’re all bisexual. For many queers, a local meetup might seem trivial. Denver is a liberal city that is overall accepting to queer people and offers them numerous outlets to congregate with like-minded people in safe spaces.

But Denver does not extend that offer to bisexual people and delivers no resources or bars dedicated strictly to bisexuals. The weekly local meetup is the only outlet for bisexual people, and it’s barely a year old.

Although the small group barely filled one side of the small hookah lounge, Lair of Abraxus, the overwhelming atmosphere of acceptance and freedom stretched far beyond the mash of tables. Standing directly between the two sets of tables was a petite, blonde woman with oversized, thick-rimmed glasses. She smoothly worked the room, jumping in and out of the multiple conversations transpiring around her.

Timmy Everles, the co-organizer of Denver Metro Bisexual Social Club, was making sure everyone felt welcomed and comfortable. After all, it was her event.

“It’s really important to me that everyone is having a good time and feels included,” Timmy said. “Bisexual people face so much alienation from both the hetero and homo realms that we really make an effort to make whatever space we are in fun for everyone.”

Timmy attended her first meetup in April of 2016, just four months after the group formed. She was looking for a community where she could freely express her bisexuality. After seeing what Lisa Brodsky created, she knew it was something she needed to a part of. So she signed on to help promote and grow the group.

She started hosting events alongside Lisa and even started creating her own events to pick up the frequency of the meetups. With a change in work schedule, Timmy is now offering a meetup once a week and publishing the details on Facebook and Meetup.com.

Timmy is more of a freestyle organizer, throwing up events whenever her schedule allows and hoping for the best outcome. Sometimes five people show up. Sometimes the group suprasses 20. It all depends on the atmosphere and what is planned.

“We’re always moving around. Sometimes we go to bars for drinks and music, but sometimes we just all get together somewhere chill and play games,” Timmy said. “There are so many different types of people that come to these meetings, and we want to make sure they all have a place at the table. It’s been pretty successful so far.”

One of the seats at the table belongs to Christy Headrick—the librarian who brought her own bag of Bananagrams to the Lair of Abraxus. As she battled a few other members, a small bisexual flag hung lifeless in front of her.

Christy identifies as pansexual, and has trouble in Denver finding a place to fit in. She felt out of place at heterosexual gatherings, but ostracized in queer spaces. The group gave her a place to not worry about the judgements people throw bisexual or pansexual indivguals.

“You would think that a group focusing on being bi, that the conversation would revolve around it. That’s just not the case. It’s a space for people to come and let that weight lift of their shoulders. That’s what it did for me,” Christy said.

Christy joined the group in spring of 2016. Because Christy doesn’t drink, she usually steers clear of the meetups at bars but finds it nearly impossible to pass up a game night. The relaxing atmosphere, people, and acceptance are what keeps bringing her back to the group.

“The biggest thrill for me is meeting new people,” she said. “It’s rejuvenating to see more and more people showing up to these events and really building this community.”

That’s where this all started.

Last January, Lisa, the founder, was tired of not having resources for bisexual people. At the time, she had just come out to her husband and was ready to start being open and honest with everyone in her life. So she went to a woman with a doctorate in human sexuality to help her come out to her parents. After she told her that she was bisexual, the doctor told her that “everyone’s bisexual.”

She backed up the claim with data saying that most humans, 67 percent, are in the middle of being attracted to men or women. She also told her that bisexuals are really behind in coming out and being a part of the queer community.

“We’re way behind,” Lisa elaborated.

“I would go these swingers meetups where I thought bisexual people were, but it was very heteronormative and seedy. It’s so closeted and secret. I thought, ‘we need a place where we can just hang out and be ourselves without the undertone of sex.’”

So she started one. At first it took time to pick up traction but now the group has more than 300 members. While only a fraction of them have attended meetings, it’s shown Lisa that her community is vast—something she didn’t realize even after hearing the eye-opening statistics.

“It’s amazing to see people want to build a community,” Lisa said. “I hope it only continues to grow from here on out. I wouldn’t be opposed to hundreds of people coming over to my house and just having fun. It’s why I started this whole thing. So wherever you are in life —come out!”

To get more information on the events and join the community, check out Denver Metro Bisexuals Social Club on Meetup.com.