Corey O’Brien On the Freedoms of Sobriety

In honor of National Recovery Month, professional dancer and TikTok star Corey O’Brien has a powerful message to share.

O’Brien, who is also the boyfriend of former NFL player Ryan Russell, is hoping to inspire adolescents and young adults struggling with their sexuality and turning to substance abuse like he once did. In collaboration with the Los Angeles Centers for Alcohol and Drug Abuse, O’Brien created an artistic short film called Freedom, which incorporates dance, nature, and his story to help bring awareness to addiction, but most importantly, recovery.

In tandem, O’Brien will be raising donations for the nonprofit on his social media, with support from his boyfriend and other public figures. Using his story as his strength, he is showing that recovery is possible and empowering. O’Brien will be soon celebrating nine years of sobriety.

OFM had the opportunity to catch up with O’Brien to talk more about the film, what led him to the dark world of addiction, why he eventually sought help, and letting people know that they are not alone.

Can you begin by telling us more about Freedom, the short film you created with the Los Angeles Centers for Alcohol and Drug Abuse?
This video is very special to me because for National Recovery Month—which is September—I wanted to share part of my story with everyone, but I wanted to do it in a way that was close to my heart, which was through movement and poetry. I wanted to find a way to kind of bring the message of hope, that recovery is possible for everyone. When we speak about addiction, normally, we are speaking about how destructive the disease is, but a lot of times, we miss out on the fact that recovery is possible.

Creating this short film has been very therapeutic, and it has been interesting to go back and relive some things and talk about how tough things were. I also have a part in the film, there is a clip of me watching about 10 to 15 different screens, and those screens all have old videos of me when I was drinking. So, there are a lot of really cool things in this video that have hidden meanings, but it has definitely been one of my favorite projects to ever work on.

What inspired you to create this film and open up more about your personal story?
With the video being called Freedom, I feel like there is freedom to being open, honest, and vulnerable, and I think a lot of people don’t really know how to get there. I feel like if we just continue to speak more about the disease of addiction, and the possibility of recovery, more people will be able to open up with their own stories. This is something I always thought I would hold on to and not really share, but during quarantine, I started opening up more and more about my sobriety and addiction. I have seen the snowball effect of what it’s like to inspire others, or make others feel comfortable to open up.

You will also be raising donations for the L.A. CADA?
Yes, I am very excited. This organization that I’ve partnered with has been so kind, and what they are doing with their work revolving around addiction and recovery is really amazing. I actually spoke at one of their events last week, so I am excited that the video launched. They have been nothing but amazing.

Do you mind talking about the factors that led you to initially begin using drugs and alcohol?
I think a lot of it had to do with the lack of self-love that I had for myself. I didn’t really know what that was back then. I thought that alcohol was going to bring confidence and love into my life, but it just brought a bunch of destruction and chaos. Being a gay man growing up in a small town in Pennsylvania, I really didn’t know my worth, and I allowed other people’s opinions and their small-minded comments shape who I was. I allowed the ignorance of others shape me as a person, and I believed all the negative things that I was being told.

I really wasn’t being told a lot of things, but I was always reminded that I was very different from everyone. When I started feeling like an outcast, I tried to find ways to fit in, which was drugs and alcohol. I became bearable to these people. Like, I was the cool gay kid. Instead of just being the cool kid, I was the cool gay kid, and I didn’t even realize how backhanded of a compliment that was until it was too late. I started finding what I thought was love for myself, but it was actually just tolerance. I was tolerating who I was, and I didn’t find love for myself until I got rid of all those things.

When was the moment you realized you needed help?
I think around the age of 21. Everything around me was crumbling, and it was crumbling for years. I didn’t actively choose to get help; I was kind of forced by my family, friends, and colleagues. I was always fired from every dance job that I was getting, and I just thought, “OK, I’m going to shut everyone up and go away for 30 days.”

I ended up in rehab for about a year, and I started to watch my life get better and better. It wasn’t like anything was going crazy because I wasn’t able to audition, and I wasn’t making money. I was in rehab, but I started to realize how I was feeling about myself after each month. I started to really love who I was, and I started realizing, “Oh, this is what freedom feels like.” So, that is when everything kind of took a turn for the better.

I was curious if your addiction had a negative impact on your dance career or not.
Yes, my addiction had a negative impact on everything. When I look back at who I was, I truly speak of him as a different person with my family and friends. That is not me. I take ownership of all the things that are done, but when I learned about the things that I did when I was intoxicated because I didn’t remember, it was like hearing stories of someone else. That was not myself, and it was scary. So, yeah, my addiction affected everything including my career. That’s why what I do now is so important to me because dance has been such a huge driving force in getting me sober.

Have you always had a passion for dance?
I have always loved it. I started off as a gymnast, and I was scared that the boys were going to think I was gay when they found out, so I decided to do something a little less gay in my eyes, which was dance. I don’t know how it was less gay (laughs). But it really was the one place in my life where my mind was just able to shut off. I was able to focus on what I was doing and not worry about my insecurities or if I was good enough. The movement and really throwing myself into that art has been so healing. It was healing when I was a kid, and it still is as a 30-year-old man.

You are going on nine years sober?
Yes, I am nine years sober on October 1! It still feels like yesterday. It’s crazy. I am still very young to be nine years sober; I sometimes don’t even know how. I have found my new norm, which is cool, and I have enjoyed it.

What else can you offer to people who are too ashamed to seek help?
I think one of the most powerful things that someone can do is ask for help, in any realm, and I think what people can do is just be vulnerable and find ways to be able to trust people. There is a lot of fear that people won’t understand you and people will judge if you ask for help, but just know that your life is worth it. The way that you are living is not how you’re supposed to live. We are destined for so much more, and there is enough help and hope out there for everyone. Recovery is so amazing. It is definitely very scary, but everything in life that is worth it is scary at one point or another.

Have you ever felt on the edge of relapsing?
Truthfully, for me, I haven’t. That doesn’t mean that sobriety isn’t hard, but once I put my mind to things, I always try to stay focused on that. Once I am really in it, there is no turning back. I knew, whether I liked it or not, that my focus was going to be on sobriety. Without sobriety, everything I have today would go away. I don’t want to lose that. That doesn’t mean I don’t think about what life would be like if I wasn’t, but I also don’t think that life would be anything great.

Last year, you started an Instagram livestream series during the pandemic called Isolated in Sobriety for those needing community aid in their recovery while social distancing. How was that received and are you still doing livestreams?
It was really awesome because that was the first time I really started talking about my sobriety. I wrote a letter that was featured in Out Magazine, and it was just me opening up about what I have been through and what sobriety was like for me, especially during quarantine. I was able to bring in some amazing people to share their stories with me during Isolated in Sobriety, but over the past year, I have kind of shifted my focus from live streams onto podcast episodes.

In October, I am very excited to relaunch my podcast, Life According to Corey, and I have some amazing people who are coming in and sharing their stories, messages of hope, recovery, sober people, non-sober people, but just people that inspire me and thousands of other people. That is what I am focusing on right now.

Has your boyfriend, Ryan Russel, been supportive of your sobriety journey?
Yes, he has been amazing! He met me when I was sober, and about two or three months after meeting me, he decided that he wanted to see what it would be like to not drink. Just to support me. He has never dealt with addiction, it’s not anything like that, but he wanted to support me, and it’s been about two years since he’s had a sip of alcohol. Everyone that I surround myself with is supportive of what I do. If they weren’t, then they would not be in my life.

What more do you hope to accomplish with your platform?
Honestly, I hope to accomplish everything that I want to. My goals and dreams, they don’t change constantly, I just keep adding more and more to the list. That is really where all my focus is going right now. Whether it be dance, whether it be my podcast, whether it be anything regarding social media, I love what I do.

I love sharing my message and I want that to grow bigger and bigger. I want to be able to speak more openly about my sobriety and recovery, and I want it to be a bit more mainstream. It is not taboo to talk about addiction. People are afraid to speak about it. They don’t realize that this is a disease, and millions of people suffer from it. I want there to be more people openly talking about it and sharing their story.

You want to help take away that negative stigma.
Yes! There is a huge stigma around it. There’s a huge stigma around everything, but just because someone might not understand something, that doesn’t make it wrong. That’s the thing. Whether it be around sexuality, whether it be regarding addiction, whatever it is, there are a lot of stigmas. Not only do I want to try and help take the stigma away, but I am trying to show that it’s OK, that this is normal.

Stay up-to-date and connect with O’Brien by following him on Instagram and TikTok.

Photos courtesy of Corey O’Brien and Beverly Batzel