The Chemists of Colfax

By Elizabeth Barron

Some people may not realize just how painless and casual buying their first sack of good, legal weed actually is. No worries, Nervous Nellies — we’ll walk you through with a virtual tour of one of our favorites spots to re-up our stash.

Be familiar with Good Chemistry’s clever logo before you venture out to the establishment. The dispensary could be easy to miss if you’re not looking for its trademark “g” with a mortar and pestle (read: old school apothecary) top that hangs above the entrance. Sandwiched between a clay-red Mexican restaurant and a bright blue frame store on East Colfax, the silvery white “g” on the building’s black background denotes a simple elegance that carries on to the interior. When you pass through the entrance door into the small reception room, slip your ID to the attendant on the other side of the glass. If you are 21+ with a valid state-issued ID (from any state), you will be granted access to the dispensary’s wares.

Once inside, you’ll see a white room with a row of tall, black chairs lining the wall, a long counter behind which the friendly sales associates stand ready to advise you on your purchase, and two flatscreen TVs that display their menu. If you don’t have a medical marijuana license, go no farther than the first TV that shows the recreational menu. The second TV’s menu is for red card holders only.

Good Chemistry offers bud, extracts, pre-rolled joints, and Mountain Medicine-brand edibles. If you’re not sure which form is right for you, just ask an employee and they’ll point you in the right direction. To give you the best individualized recommendation, they’ll probably ask about your experience with the product, so be honest and heed their advice unless you want to end up in “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.” Consider this: Snoop Dogg (Lion) and Seth Rogen would be advised to share one (one!) chocolate-covered pot pretzel. Do not overindulge.

If you’re in for something to smoke, you’ll see strains of sativas, indicas, and hybrids (sativa/indica combination strains) on both menus. A lot of the differences in indicas and sativas are in the look of the plants themselves, but you won’t get a sense looking at them with an untrained eye. The general consensus is usually sativa = energetic head high and indica = low-key body high. Effects will vary with each individual, so try a few strains until you find the one you like. For example:

Sour Diesel (sativa)

Sour Diesel gets its name from the fuel-like odor it emits, but the taste is smooth, leaving only the faintest smoky flavor in the back of your mouth — quite unlike the harsh throat-burn of lesser weed. The initial headchange after the first puff is almost instantaneous, so pace yourself if you’re a newbie. The Sour is great at lessening tension as your muscles relax and your thoughts clear. You may find yourself more productive in creative endeavors (ahem, such as writing). Sour Diesel smells fresh, like a skunky Clean Linen Glade candle.

Ingrid (indica)

You won’t see as many dark green leaves in the tightly bound Ingrid buds, but you will find an aroma just as pungent as Sour Diesel’s. Ingrid’s fragrance is earthy and woody, like a gently used pair of leather boots that probably came into contact with the slightest bit of dogshit. Fortunately, the taste does not entirely mimic the smell and Ingrid produces a flavor like dried dates wrapped in mint sprinkled with a touch of cayenne. The effects are strong with this one, so again watch your intake if you’re not a seasoned smoker. The euphoric sensation is calming and pleasant to the entire body, making Ingrid the bud you want if you’re dealing with high stress or pain, or if you’ve just had a particularly trying day.

Both of these strains are available at Good Chemistry, so drop by and get the hookup.

Good Chemistry is located at 330 E. Colfax Ave.